Living with girlfriend but family don't know
Hi, I'm just looking for some advice. I started a new job and fell in love with a girl. This is the first time I have ever been with a girl. I would say I am bi rather than gay as I do find men attractive but have never had sex with a guy even though I am 27 as I couldn't bring myself to do it. At first I thought this was due to way I was brought up to be respectful to myself but when I met my current girlfriend it came so easy. Fast forward a year and I moved in with my girlfriend. My family have no idea and think I am living with a friend. I am so frightened they will disown me as they have said some nasty things about gay people and I know they will be hurt, disappointed and upset. This gets me down. I have been with my girlfriend 2 years now and I love her but it's starting to get at me not telling them the truth and having to keep it a secret. I don't want to lose my family but I also am not willing to not be with my girlfriend. She puts no pressure and is happy for it to stay a secret from my family as she is openly out and her family and friends know about us. I don't know how to tell my mum, every time I think about telling her I bottle it
If you bottle it, it'll eventually bring you down .Once it does that, it'll impact, among other things, on your relationship with your GF.
If you state, you were bought up to respect yourself, then it's telling you that honesty was part of your upbringing.
You are betraying yourself by keeping your situation a secret from your family and your GF is supporting you to do just that. Her family and friends know about your circumstances and only add to another group of people who assist to keep it a secret.
You're 27, a young adult, mature enough to live your life as you see fit.
Get on with your life and live it the way you need to. You state your family will be hurt and upset...but what about you?..what's happening to you?
What is it that you are going to tell them?
You say you might be bi - have never been with a man, but are living with a girl.
It seems you are not really sure about what and where you are going, so . . .
Don't feel pressure to say anything to anyone. You owe no one an explanation right now.