Hurt and confused
My boyfriend and i have been dating for 11 months now, and have known each other for 3 years. He is a great boyfriend who treats me so well. In may of 2013, we were just dating for two months then, he cheated on me at a party and told me he made out with another girl. he told me the night it happened, so i appreciated his honesty. I decided to give him another chance, and it took me awhile to trust him again. just 2 days ago he told me that that same night in may of 2013, they not only made out, but had sex. i asked him why he kept this secret from me, and told me that he felt if he told me back in may i wouldve left him, which i probably wouldve. i love him so much and told him i will try to put it in the past but i do not trust him as of now and he said he will do anything it takes to regain my trust. i know this happened 8 months ago but i cant get the image of him being intimate with another girl out of my head. i cant even think about getting intimate with him any time soon. my heart hurts, and i don't know how to handle this situation...i know he cares about me because when he told me this 2 days ago he was sobbing and crying and begging me not to leave him. I'm very disappointed that he never told me this information all throughout our relationship. i don't know what to do. Some advice would really be nice....
It took me 2 years to begin to trust my partner again after she cheated on me.
She also didn't tell me the full story right at the beginning but rather dribbled it all out later on, one night when she was drinking.
The problem is that I couldn't trust her to keep her legs closed but BIGGEST issue I had was that she LIED about it.
She is no longer my partner...some other man can have her because she has negative values and standards and will always have them. She had no respect for me.
When she finally told me the truth that night, I left her even though I loved her...but I made sure she knew what sort of a person she was and I made sure she knew WHY I was leaving her.
Hope my experience assists you SAML....
If I'm counting right, it has been 8 months since he cheated on you.
What has he been doing since then? Are you two intimate NOW?
Decide if you can get over this. If it digs at you so much, every day, then let him go. You can't live your life with these feelings.
Couples do get through stuff like this, but you have to want to move on. You seem stuck in what happened in the past.
Yes u need 2 take a day out and sit down n answer 2 questions 1. Do you love him? The answer is obviously yes and if so, move onto the hard question 2. Can you forgive him and move on from this? Dig deep and make a desision ! If you decide to move on it's gonna be really really hard, but where there is a will there is a way ! I'm in a similar situation myself at the moment with regards intimacy, that's how I found this site! I've got an issue with it recently and my problem doesn't involve unfaithfulness and so I can only imagine how much tougher it's gonna be 4 u ! 2 be honest I reckon you should give him another chance and I sure eventually you will battle through this. He seems genuinely sorry and from what you have said it seems the relationship ain't 2 bad except this issue. I think if it happened again that would be the time to call it quits and Finnish ! Good luck