Stuck between the wall and my back
Im going for 4years with my boyfriend in June if we make it. We have a 1 year old son whom I had in Jan, we use to live in Arizona but in March 2013 my boyfriends dad told him that he had a better opportunity working with him in Washington so my boyfriend left. We kept in touch and in May I packed my belongs and booked a flight with my son whom was 4months at the time. I find out we would be living in a basement with his aunt and cousin, the best thing was to live on our own but til this day im still stuck in this s**t hole of basement. Through the months I've felt unappreciated I take care of my baby because he works nights and sleeps all day yes all day. He works from 8pm leaves the house at 730pm than gets off work at 630am gets home at 7am and will do his hobby flying rc helicopters and planes on the computer or he'll head out to the rc park and fly his helicopter, than by 8ish me and the baby will wake up and he'll decide he wants to sleep. so instead of spending time with us he spends time doing what he likes. hes selfish. I expect on his days off that he'll show us around take us out to eat or just spend time with us and no he'll go to bed and wont wake up until its time for me and baby to sleep than hes up alone doing who knows what. I know ya'll probably tell me to talk to him but its like he's 5years old he doesnt listen and only wants to be heard. I've told him help me once a week!!!! and he wont do that i clean when he and baby are asleep and the basement will be clean and he wont mention it but ohhh god forbid i dont clean and he notices it im a pig and my parents should of taught me how to clean not sit around at that point im like wtf i cant argue bc like i said its like he shuts his ears when its my turn to talk. I cook him meals for work and breakfast i dont get a thank you that was good i really liked what you made me. we were getting food stamps and it was all just for his lunch because he can eat 2lbs by him self of meat and doesnt think about leaving some for someone else. He really loves shrimp cocktel the mexican one where it includes clamato and veggies 4lbs of shrimp medium he'll attack it and if i didnt serve myself or if i did when we just made one bowl he wont consider me the next day he'll finish it all!! I tell him all his mistakes and he'll say you can be dumb too but can he explain to me what i did or do NO!. i dont work because i dont trust anyone but my mom with my baby so i stay at home and watch baby but seems like im the slave, he expects me to be like your hines let me suck your dick bc i love you so much I swear thats true, he expects me to treat him like a king when all he's paying is 500 of rent,diapers,wipes,and toiletrees. I guess if my thing is if i go back to AZ im going to work and theres no problem with working but my son is a year old im all he see's be responsible for him, I dont know what to do, i want to go be with my mom bc seems like she needs me the most but i feel like leaving is like you failed you didnt try hard enough kind of thing and to be honest ive been trying 3years break up to make up and encouraging him with his hobby but since baby is around F**k his hobby it about BABY and thats it. thank you to whom ever read this and must think wtf are you doing if you see how f**k your living, bc i myself cant answer what makes me stay.......
You're not happy, you're unappreciated, and you're angry.
Your BF is a parent but not much of a father or a partner by the sound of it. And not much of a person either.
While he's found work he needs to realize what you're doing to enable him to do that: the support you give him and the effort you use to achieve it.
We all struggle at times in out life but we look for the light at the end of the tunnel to make it worthwhile while we're doing it tough. If there's no light there then we need to find another way.
Importantly you need to realize that if you're angry, upset etc then your son will pick up on this. If your BF can't/won't be supportive then you need to change your environment for your child's sake as well as your own.
If you feel you've given this relationship/relocation your best shot and it's obviously not working then I guess you need to go back to AZ where you say you'll be happy with your Mom....and if you're happy, your son will be happy as well.
It's a lot harder to leave when you have a child. But you have to think about your happiness and what is best for you and your son. You're too forgiving to him (bf) when it comes to that son of yours. He was man enough to make him, now it's his turn to do something about it. If I were you, I'd ask my mom for help and go back home. Are you a first time mother? Your son will know you were responsible enough to take care of him. You have to learn to let someone else take him so you can work. I know it will give you less time to see your son, which is hard, but you can reassure him, everything you've done, was to better him. For example, if you ever have to explain why daddy is no where to be found. Go back home to Arizona and your mom. I beat she would love to have her daughter and grandson back.
I'm sorry, dear, but your BF is not mature enough to be a father or companion.
These are difficult decisions to make, but you need to know that this is NOT like its supposed to be.
Thank you for the feedback
im a first time mother and i feel like im the one saying i want his dad to enjoy the baby but bf obviously doesnt not see what im doing.
Grandma would really love that
im just so hurt my feeling emotions i dont find comedy movies funny im so drained outta love