Why do you think one of her ex crushes hates her?
She's using everything in the book to control you, use you and then discard you.
You haven't ruined anything other than yourself by self harming etc..Your family has every right to blame her but you're responsible for your own actions.
You state, she made you insecure...then there's your answer to your issue...if the respect and love you gave her was reciprocated back to you then you wouldn't be here on this forum. Her actions would not have made you feel insecure, instead if she was sincere, then her actions should have made you happy and SECURE.
You are going to do your head in if you continue to pursue this woman..better to find someone who respects you for who you are.
I think you are being to hard on yourself. I don't think this situation was all your fault. It seems to me like a set up...push and see how far he can be pushed. Else why would anyone say the things she said to you? The only reason I can figure is she wanted a reaction. I'm sorry she was able to hurt you so much and she didn't feel any pain herself! She sounds like a sociopath."ME, I"M SO IMPORTANT, ME, ME, ME."
If you are able talk to a professional about this relationship. I don't blame your family for holding her responsible.
Would you honestly talk to a a lover you respected the way she talked to you and feel no pain? I can't imagine doing it myself.
Rest, recuperate and take care of yourself - even let your family take care of you some.
I hope you are feeling better soon...let us know. Remember, 'what's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander'...find someone who can love and care for you the same way YOU are able to love and care for them; not be so shallow and superficial!
Thank you for the kind words my brothers said she was trying to provoke me. It's just I did everything for her she would go on how she's never had a guy been this nice to her or cared for her as much as I have and how she use to cry when we would talk as she was so happy and felt so loved and cared for and how everything was perfect and she said even though she can be cold at times and be a moody person she still truly loves me and will always love me and those were her true feelings then now I mean absolutely nothing to her she's like new year fresh start she just wants to have fun and mess around but like a week before her saying that she was all I love you don't leave stay with me I'd miss you our jokes your laugh your smile and all that and now she's just flirts with any guy that will give her attention.
I honestly thought we would be together forever like she was the girl of my dreams she was just perfect she's so beautiful I know it doesn't look it now but she was so kind caring sweet loving innocent sexy sensual funny smart just perfect and I was just like wow I met my dream girl and she loves me wow I'll devote my life to make her happy just for her to go yawn I'm bored NEXT I just want to get back with her but I think I've burnt my bridge and my chances I'm such an idiot it's eating at me I sit here depressed while she's doing everything she wants to and is having her fun and doesn't even care about me anymore but as long as she's happy that's all that matters to me.
She called me selfish and that I use to go on about my self and stuff....I don't care for myself I would rarely mention anything to do about me yeah I would be hard on myself and say stuff like I don't deserve you your too good for me how could you be with a monster like me but that's because I have little to no confidence. She use to allways go on about her self though but I didn't care as I loved her and just put up with it for her as it was a way for get to get her problems of her chest. I just want her back
She hasn't treated you the way you deserve. Instead she's discarded you.
Who cares what you look like?..so what if the other fool pumps iron....it's whats inside a person that counts.
This woman doesn't understand this,.. she's immature and remorseless and it shows.
She's pushed your 'insecure buttons' to control you just to show you she's capable of it.
That's unacceptable behavior and you are a victim, so for your own good, bro, move on from her.
Tbh when we were together she never cheated or did anything with any other guy except that one time I mentioned about trying to pursue him even though he never liked her. I'm at fault aswell as I tend to over think and sweat the small stuff and she said that it was pushing her away and stuff all this drama I caused but I didn't do it for no good reason.
She said that she didn't feel like my gf just someone there to make me happy which wasn't true and that I depended on her which again wasn't true she never told me any of this until she was breaking up with me. I'm not a mind reader if I knew I would of made sure to change those thoughts as it wasn't true she used to allways say don't leave stay with me and stuff.
She did push my buttons as she messaged me about her boy toys and would ask what's the average penis size and that her boy toy has a big dick and all this stuff like wtf would I want to know or hear that. Her response was "just get over it" it had only been a few days after breaking up she said that to me so I obviously was still hurt angry and upset jealous and depressed so I responded the way I did.
Yeah she said she knew she was shallow but she didn't need looks or muscles cuz she had me and I was just as good looking to her and I gave her love she's never felt before.
Then she said she was bored lack of excitement blah blah but like a day before saying that she was all I love you stay with me don't leave.
I still love her as she really is my dream girl and I would do anything to win her back as I'm slowly getting my self better with counselling and working out more I'm trying to be a better me for her idk why I can't get over her I truly love her and she went on how I threw everything back in her face but she threw all my love my time my affection everything I did for her back I to mine and shows no remorse as she says " I just wanna have fun and I am so everything's going perfectly" why can't I be enough I was at one point. It's just frustrating sorry I feel like I'm ranting.
You have a big job in front of you: get yourself emotionally healthy. Try to do this without any influence from this or any other girl.
When you have strengthened yourself, then you can have a healthy relationship. I have a feeling you will not pick a lady like this one. She just is not good for you.
Its been what 4 wks now. It may take a long time to get over this BUT you will because you don't have any choice! Do something: you really like to do...fishing, hunting, skiing, ride motorcycles, anything. Do something you've never done before...sky diving, diving, camping, take a trip. Keep yourself busy esp with things the two of you never did. And keep open to new people...you never know what's around the next corner! Keep in touch, Whatsup.
Yeah I've been doing stuff like I'm an artist and while we were together that sort of stopped as she use to ask for me to stay or be with her so I would stop painting and cancel my art shows and exhibitions to be with her as I found she was more important then my art. It's just she really is my dream girl so to speak like I find her to be perfect just the way she is I feel like she was the one and I found her early and I said I wouldn't do anything to ruin it and be the best person possible and I was able to as she's said I've been her best boyfriend and friend she's ever had I'd do anything for her. I know she said she doesn't want a relationship now it's just I guess what plagues my mind as I over think is if meets someone or goes for someone I know it's out of my control I understand but it's just I feel as though I've blew it with her my friend said if its true love she'll come back regardless after she's had all her fun give her space and time to see if she's made a mistake or not like she would always say that I've done stuff for her that she thought most guys would never do and how I appreciated her more then any guy ever has i just feel as though my attempts at getting back together or trying to salvage anything has just pushed her further away like all I do is try I'm nice to her if though she hasn't been as pleasent to me I told her I will always be here for her if she needed help its just she thinks everything I say is a lie which it isn't ive never lied to her so its just frustrating its like anything I do is wrong
STAY AWAY From this girl !
Listen, she blatantly has no respect for you whatsoever, and guess what man? SHE NEVER WILL !
She is taking pleasure from actually succeeding in destroying you!!! Not a nice person, and she never will be either.
Forget her, never look back, no matter how hard that May be, trust me it's not gonna be as hard as trying 2 maintain some kind of relationship with her ! This girl will never make you happy, she will cause you nothing but eternal pain and heartbreak - she thrives from giving u these negative feelings.
There is a great idea...put these feelings into your art! Use the pain and anguish, use the joy and love in your art! It almost sounds like the 'breakup' could be better for your art than she was!
Don't give up on yourself!!!!!!!!!!
In fact, don't give up at all BUT do stay away.
Keep your head up! Keep in touch. Whatsup
She is bored with you and wants to have fun and mess around, and you are still hanging on to having a meaningful relationship with HER?
You are frustrated and then you yourself and ended up in the hospital, upsetting your family and you still worry about HER?
Please read the book, "Co-Dependent No More.'
Yeah I have I put it into my art work my feelings and stuff and it helps.
I hear what everyone is saying to stay away she's no good and stuff I understand even though you think I don't I do. It's just when we were together before this happened it was perfect we were both happy together we both made each other happy. I just miss her I had a chance to atleast be her friend but that's when she provoked me and hasn't spoken to me since 17th jan I just want to atleast make things right so even if we depart it wasn't on bad grounds or bad blood I'm just that kind of person I guess that wants to make sure it ended well. I'm just angry at her reasons to break up yeah I understand about the self halming as she said the moment I did that I was dead to her as she thinks I did it as a guilt trip which again wasn't true I did it as I felt like I had no option and had nothing left. Just the Bordem and saying I was insecure and needed her there all the time which isn't fucking true. I did absolutely everything for her I stopped my art for her I alienated my self from everyone so I could spend time with her I stopped her from killing herself I made her more confident I gave her self essteam she was the clingy one I would wake up literally to 50 messages saying how she misses me and loves me and I'm all she thinks about then this shit happens oh I'm bored just wanna have fun blah blah it just took me by surprise I know I should of respected her wishes from the beginning and just been there for her like she's said this before and I did that and we got together because of it she said she still likes me it's just she doesn't want a relationship. I just love her guys and want to get back or atleast have done sort of contact with her. I just miss her.
When we read between your lines, you, personally, will never depart from this woman on bad grounds, you won't allow that. It's one of your ways of dealing with it.
But don't blame yourself..you gave it your best shot, you put the effort in, you can't do anymore than that.
Poopy, you come across as a kind and considerate person, but now is the time you need to start being kind and considerate to yourself.
I know I did everything I made mistakes and I did everything to correct them but she won't either listen or acknowledge that I'm doing everything in my power to make up for hurting her I think she's truly forgotten about me or hates me as she thinks I've betrayed her with my selfishness but wasn't she being a lil selfish in not letting me try to make things work after she told me she was bored and felt like I threw everything in her face I just wanted one chance to make things right as she is the love of my life you can say you only think that move on forget it and stuff but its just how I feel I just want to make things right with her you know? I should of respected her wishes and we would at least still be in contact and she wouldn't hate me that's what hurts as its gone from love to I still like you to hate and it's killing me as she was my best friend and I havnt only lost my love but my best friend she knows I'm not a bad guy or an arsehole and I don't mean to do any of this to her or to upset her I just panicked and didn't know what to do so I self harmed I never blamed her nor lied to her it's just she's incredibly stubborn and changes her mind alot and when it's changed it's hard to make her think or see differently but I've done it in the past that's how we were together anyway she said she didn't want a relationship but she still went with me cuz I was Ryan that's my name XD I just want to talk to her again to atleast know she's doing well I just want my friend back I lost cuz I got stubborn and depressed that I was going to lose my love and just for her to go with some guy that won't appreciate her as much as I did and do and I doubt most guys would do the stuff and put up with the stuff I did and have for her. it's so frustrating I feel like she's ignoring me not cuz she hates me but on purpose or to make me feel bad or depressed as revenge for me betraying her with my self harming I just want to have one final talk with her but it won't ever happen so It just feels like I havnt got closure but she did cuz I was a insecure dick that would fuck stuff up but try his hardest to make up and apologise for so she's like fuck him I tried to be friends but she just went on about all her boy toys....I'm just going in circles sorry I'm just frustrated
Then write her a letter...send a telegram...leave a message on her phone...And then give it up! You are only hurting yourself and she will never even know about it. Be strong! Get some counseling or join a support group for the brokenhearted!
Keep your chin up, Whatsup
Suck it up and be a man. Your posts are escalating with hysteria and mean language.
Get over this so you can find another woman - with you a little more wiser.
Don't give her the satisfaction.
Discussion closed - why not create your own thread?