Please help me, I don't know what to do!
Hi my names Fiona, I'm 23 years old and I've been with my girlfriend now for almost 8 months, I love her with all my heart and I've really never felt like this before, but recently we've been arguing a lot about silly things but she refuses to talk about anything period, she never wants to communicate with me no matter how many ways I try to get her to talk she just ignores me and doesn't want to talk. When ever she gets angry she says horrible things the most spiteful mean things she can think of then she calms down and says she only said those things because she's angry not because she meant them, but it's all the time, it hurts me so much and I can't accept she's only saying them because she's angry. Sometimes she makes me feel like the most disgusting piece of trash on the floor. I keep forgiving her because I don't want this to be over and when ever I try to talk it makes her even angrier. I just don't know what to do, I lie next to her in bed and cry myself to sleep and then the cycle starts again, I forgive her . I feel trapped and I don't know what to do. I would appreciate any help you can give me please.
FI, communication and respect are important in a successful relationship.
If there's no positive flowing communication and only one way abuse, then the relationship has become one sided.
If your partner is hurting you all the time and making you feel like trash as you state, then she is verbally abusing you.
She is controlling you and if you keep forgiving her, then you're are enabling her to continue it.
While you allow this, you are bringing yourself down to her level and it just keeps you miserable and unhappy.
You don't want it to be over?....but why put it up with it?
You need to give her an ultimatum and you need to realize that in successful personal relationships, partners respect and love another and treat each other accordingly.
Thank you very much, it's so good to hear a completely unbiased opinion. The first 6 months were the most amazing ever, we never argued not even disagreed about much. We went on dates at least twice a week, we took turns cooking dinner and we did so much stuff together. It was perfect and I was in heaven. Now we do nothing, we never go out, she doesnt like to cook and more and if I try she doesn't want to eat, we dont do anything romantic and it just feels like all the sparkle has gone. She doesn't really seem attracted to me anymore. When ever we argue she turns it on me, like the other night we had planned to watch a movie together I lit candles and in between walking from the room to the fridge to get us wine she fell asleep. We were both off work and it was only 9pm. I left her to sleep and then the next day asked if we could try again that night and her only respone was 'nothing I ever do is good enough for you. It's that or 'I dont make you happy' that's her only way of communication thats all she will ever say if I express a concern or a desire to talk. I just dont think Im ready to give up the hope of getting my old baby back, the one who loved me and told me so 5 times a day insted of the one who wont even kiss me unless I ask. I just don't understand what's changed, everybody used to say we were perfect and I thought the same...
After 8 months, things should be getting BETTER, not sliding back to fighting, crying, etc.
Fi - can't you get the hint? This is winding down. She is not the same person you fell in love with.
Grab your dignity and walk out the door. Or stay and be a doormat.
Hey Fiona -
Sorry to say but unless you are into a sadist/masochist relationship it is time to leave and find a healthy person to love and be loved by, or don't you think you deserve a healthy, loving relationship?? Abusive people don't change with out a great deal of effort and counseling. This doesn't sound like your gf. Try to keep your head and not dwell in the past but look to a brighter future with a loving, responsible person. Good luck, Whatsup
Your relationship aint right... you only been together 8 months and having them sort of problems already? These should still be the best parts of your relationship. Your gf sounds totally out of order I would never put up with that from my gf! You cant say hurtfull things then take them back once they are said it stays in your head and she obviously doesnt learn from being 'sorry' for it when she does it again n again? Also there is no relationship without communication and if she wont even talk to u you seriously got no hope u are wasting ur time and giving ur self no self value staying and putting up with that! get some self respect and stand up for ur self girl.