Terrible dilemma.. please give your vision
I have a terrible decision to make.. I know it's only me to decide, but I need to see some other perspectives.. to choose hopefully the best option. I'm married and have a 6 months old son. A few months ago I decided to divorce. He doesn't support me when really needed. He doesn't know me and he doesn't want to, because he loves me for who I 'am', what I do. For the life I give him. I gave him everything of myself.. and what he offers is not enough. He isn't the one, so I should leave. A few months passed by, we discussed with parents and friends. We are still good friends, I love him, 'normal life' is okay with him. My best friend and I made plans to take over the house.. because together we can afford it. I have also a very unique and special friendship with this girl, which goes far beyond any kind of relation or friendship. Because this is true love. Although we are both straight.. we have a 100% match. Care for each other, understand each other without words and respect each other. We went through a lot of trouble, always ready to help each other. It is something I can not explain properly, but we decided to live together when the divorce was official, because we both believe nothing can compare to this. Unfortunately, despite anticonception I've got pregnant. Very stupid of me to still have sex with him.. yes I know. The problem is.. I have to choose to keep the child and stay with my husband to do at least the first critical months or to abort this child and go for my one and only. It is almost impossible to have these 2 little children with my best friend, because she is chronically ill and needs to have some space and rest. One child is okay, but 2 children will be too much. It's not that we don't want to, but it's impossible. I'm not 100% against abortion, but I've always said that I will never do it. It breaks my heart a thousand times. Now it's only 5 weeks old so very little I know, but it's hard. I don't know if I can recover from that. But when I keep the child I live with the man who's not the one.. and I should be happy to also make my children happy. I also lose the opportunity to live with the person who really loves me.. someone I will never meet again. Nothing will be as perfect as with her. She makes me happy. 100% honest and true. I thought it doesn't exist.. but yes, it does. You will understand that this is very hard to decide. My husband doesn't know about my best friend. He doesn't want to keep the child, because he says that we both will be happier without eventually. But when we keep the child, he will love it as much as our son. He is a very good father. Please help me by giving your vision.. thanks..
This is a decision that only you can make - but I hope you will look at your options. Perhaps there's more to the "either-or" options that you list here.
I am also concerned about you jumping into another relationship so soon. You seem to have a special bond with this person, but if you re-read your own post, things don't match up. You say you are straight, but want to go into this highly emotional thing with her. What happens when you meet a guy and want to date?
Please slow down and think about what you are doing.