My wife left me

Posted by
on Jan 28 2014 at 01:39
Member since: 26 January 2014
Gender: Male
Relationship advice forum category advice forum category My wife and I have been together for 9 years in June and been married for 3 years this April. We have a beautiful 5 year old daughter together. We started dating very young back in high school, we were instantly in love with each other, everyone thought we were the cutest couple. Yes we had the occasional arguments that accompany a relationship when your young and immature, but none the less we were head over heels for each other. When we found out she was pregnant we immediately moved into an apartment together. After we had our daughter the apartment got tight so we then rented a house together. While we lived here I decided to join the military reserves to help better my families future and mine. When I came back from boot camp that's when my wife and I got married. Then after I came back I was working various jobs, always trying to make better money, got laid off a few times, went to school to get a degree so our financial problems became too much for us, so we decided together to move out to my parents for a few months until we got back on our feet. While we were living there the first few months we started to be able to save money and all seemed well. Then I got the bright idea while we were living there and we didn't have any bills that I would go to school full time for the next 4 months to finish my degree so I could start my career..she seemed alright with it but later on I found out she was extremely unhappy living at my parents and all she wanted was to be on our own again. I had already started school at this point and we both agreed it would be stupid for me too quit now, I told her as soon as I was done I would start working again and we would get out of my parents, because I also became very unhappy with our living situation. Well the money we saved soon disappeared due to me not working full time so those problems arose again. I could tell she was becoming depressed and then it happened she decided to move out to her parents house for a few weeks to have some space. I was devastated didn't know what was going to happen to us..i couldn't imagine life with out her and the biggest problem was living at my parents and at this point I was still in school and I couldn't afford to move out yet. Well she came back after a few weeks we worked out our problems and all seemed well...3 months later I just finished school and started working again full time, but our money situation was tough to catch up. I could tell she was becoming very unhappy again and she seemed very distant from me. We were looking for houses together and were planning on moving out next month. One week she seemed to love me the next she seemed to be very distant and didn't even act like she cared..i was very confused. It started getting so bad that I even thought she maybe had found someone else. Well just when I thought we were gonna move out, because we kept looking at houses together we get into a big fight because I saw a guy who she works with in her car at work. I right away went into a jealous rage like an idiot because of everything that has been going on, but she assured me that it was innocent and he was only there for a few minutes talking about work because she is his boss, but she was very upset that I caused a scene outside of her work and I really did feel horrible but was also still upset he was in her car because there is no reason he should have been. Well the next day while I was at work she calls me and tells me she moved her things out and is living with her brother and sister in law. Again I was devastated. She doesn't really want to talk about it a lot, and she says she doesn't feel the same way about us as she use too, but she still loves me and cares about me. Shes been there a few weeks and she says she needs time and space. She wont wear her wedding rings and I don't know what that means? She also doesn't know what she wants, she cant decide if she wants me back or not. She wont agree to counseling yet or anything she just wants time. I am lost with out her and I would do anything to have her back. I guess the mixture of financial problems, living situation and our fighting became too much for her. I don't know if she will come back can someone please help me...what should I do to get my family back?
Reply from
on Jan 28 2014 at 01:53
Member since: 27 December 2013
You have listed the reasons YOU think made her unhappy enough to leave: "the mixture of financial problems, living situation and our fighting became too much for her."

How are you going to fix all these so that ANY woman would want to live with you?

Reply from
on Jan 28 2014 at 03:51
Member since: 29 December 2013
Gender: Male
JM, I think you have a bit of tunnel vision here and a one track mind....but a with a good heart.

Sure, you pair planned it all out, houses, career etc but you come across as if you've tried too hard to make things happen which I think were repetitious to your wife.

Your wife has lost interest along the way because maybe it's taken just too long to achieve and she can't see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Your stress levels were 'through the roof' when you blew up at the other guy in your wife's car.

I'd give her some space for now, she's stated she still loves you and cares for you, but it's up to you how you fix the problems which you guessed caused her to leave.

Discussion closed - why not create your own thread?