Should I leave my husband?
I have been married now for 10 years. We have 3 children ages 10, 7, and 1. I really do not know where to start. I will make this short though. I feel like my husband doesn't love me anymore. It seems like everyday he gets mad at something I do. It's over simple things such as spilling milk or forgetting something at home having to turn around and get it. I made a joke the other day and instead of him laughing he told me to "grow the fuck up". He said this in front of my kids. He yells at my kids a lot. They have told me they are scared of him. They sometimes choose not to talk at supper table because they are scared their daddy will tell them to shut up and eat. He gets mad if they ask for seconds, requiring him to get up. He gets mad if we don't eat all our food. He once pushed me into a wall and then punched the wall just beside my head. I thought he was going to hit me at first. Oh and be drinks every night. Whiskey or beer, whichever he has on hand. He never talks to me. We are currently living with his dad and they will drink together and talk and watch tv until bedtime. So it leaves me alone with 3 kids. We stay down in the basement a lot. I choose to stay downstairs with my kids. I don't like my kids watching their daddy and their grandpa getting drunk all the time. Oh and their grandpas girlfriend. She is here a lot too and is a drunk like them. My husband never pays me attention. My idea of a Friday or Saturday night is playing board games with my kids or watching a movie with them. I feel like we are a burden to him. I feel like we are in the way. I have told him this. Of course he says we r not a burden. He has never hit me but there are times when I thought he was about to. Just tonight I was cooking and making tea. I told him we were running low on milk and need to save it for the baby. He then starts throwing dishes (in front of the kids), and then storms off downstairs, leaving me upstairs cooking and tending to 3 kids. So I then told him be needs to come help me. He comes upstairs and puts me n a corner and starts yelling at me. My 1 year old starts crying for me thinking I am hurt. I told him to please stop this n front of the kids. My kids see me hurt everyday for whatever he gets mad about. So my question is, should I leave him or do you think marriage counseling would help?
You're in a pretty tight situation here. For the benefit of your children, I'd get out and quick.
Your husband is a drinker and raging one at that. He's creating an environment which is unsafe for you and your children. He's abusing you.
Your husband's Father, by the sound of it, doesn't really care either. Your husband is probably 'a chip off the old block'.
Leave him now and take your children to a better environment. They need you to be happy and healthy and you're not going to achieve this where you are now.
I'm sorry, I know 10 years is a long time but you can't keep living the way you are now.
When your husband is SOBER, tell him that you have had enough and unless he stops drinking and raging at you and in front of the kids, he will face the consequences.
Tell him you are sick of being treated like this and he needs to be a better father and husband.
He has some terrible habits and they will only get worse as time goes by.
You deserve better than this - and so do your kids.
You should definitely leave and maybe call and friend of family to come help you do it smoothly. We all deserve better than to be treated like that. Coming from someone who's parents divorced while me and my sister were around the same age as your two older kids, my mom was in a very similar situation to yours and when she got out of it she became a much happier person and raised me and my sister to be two very happy college students. When my dad was left by my mom it changed him for the better as well despite him liking it. I love both my parents very much but I'm glad my mom got the divorce and is living such a happy life now. I don't remember many of the fights and yelling anymore but all the good times I had playing board games with my mom and such. So i guess im saying it sounds like getting out would benefit everyone in this situation and I'm really sorry you have to go through this you sound like a great caring mom.