Sick of feeling like this
I have a problem which is really getting me down. My husband is a sales man and goes up to Birmingham every couple of weeks. He as to cover all of the country yet he always seems to go there. He told me its alot of business up there and that he doesnt always go up there. I keep thinking he is cheating on me and thats why he goes there alot to meet someone. He as denied he is and as denied he as ever cheated but I do not believe him. I have cheated and he knows about it and I was open and told him this man had sent me a text on xmas day and new year but im not interested but my husband didnt hit the roof or shout and I thought its odd not to as I would if it was the other way around. he said at least i told him now im thinking he must be cheating on me because of his calm behaviour. We have been to marriage counselling for two years and she told us she can do no more and its up to us. I feel I am wasting my life with all this anxiety if he is cheating and I dont want to live like that. he never worries I migjt cheat again and said its down to trust but how can he trust me when i dont trust him . He said he wants us to work at the relationship. I told him if I had the money I would get him followed and all he said all I will see is him going to work
Skyhigh, If you don't trust your husband, then you don't have a relationship.
Never mind what the marriage counselor said and never mind if your husband wants to work it out, it takes two to make it work.
Your husbands reaction to the guy's texts could mean something or nothing, it depends on how you view it and if you're viewing it with suspicion then that's telling you what you think of your marriage...regardless if your husband has been faithful or not.
So, if you feel you're wasting your life and you don't want to live like that then take control of your life the way you see fit...and let your husband get on with his.
Sky - From your post, you don't have more supporting evidence other than he just 'goes up to Birmingham".
There is a trust issue on your side and he seems to be indifferent to your anxiety.
Why don't you ASK him if he is seeing anyone? If he says no, and you don't have evidence, then let it go.
You are going to drive this man away if you persist.
I always keep thinking he is cheating and now he as told me he is going up north tomorrow where we used to live and there is a girl that lives there and im convinced he cheated with her so I keep thinking he is going there to be with her as he goes up there alot too
I have no one to confine in no family no friends. I feel so alone
Then go with him!
Then follow him - do you have a car and drive?
i said to him that i would go with him and he said ok then we had argued for a while and he slepted down stairs and he ended up going by himself. i texted him to say funny how he didnt want me with him because he didnt come and say, are you coming with me and he said, so you want to spend 12 hours with me and the atmosphere you caused with your wild made up fantasy. i have got a car but its 16 years old not as fast as his one so i wouldnt of been able to of kepted up if i had followed him. i now think even if i had gone with him he couldnt of got up to anything so he would go up there again and not tell me next time.