Is he in love with her?
To start off with, I am engaged. We've been engaged for three years and been living together for three and a half years. I love him with all of my heart but I've noticed something strange. He's got this one friend (whom he has never met in person). She lives in Illinois. I've noticed throughout our relationship his relationship with her is different than most guy/girl friendships. He tells her very often how beautiful she is and how much he loves her. I assumed that they were just really close. I then found out that they dated briefly a long time ago. I've noticed that lately he's been commenting on every picture she posts telling her how beautiful she is and being really flirty. I mean he tells her ALL of the time how gorgeous she is. The latest one said "GOOD GOD AT THOSE EYES. :)" Am I overreacting or does it seem to anyone else that he's in love with her? I've seen conversations they've had and it's becoming more obvious. The only reason I think they're not together in the first place is because of the distance between them. Should I bring this up to him? I don't know how to handle this. I would appreciate any advice.
I really think you should talk to him about this I mean you don't want to marry a guy that doesn't love you.
Your not overreacting I mean I would respond just like you did. Just be straight up and ask him if there is anything going on between them.
Well that's my opinion anyway, hope I helped
I would have a big talk to him, that's how it started with my wife cheating on me. She was talking on the internet with a friend, my best friend so I wouldn't have thought anything of that right, till one day they feel for each other in the words they wrote and she ended up cheating on me with him, and staying up later getting up in the middle of the night to meet him online and they had a very serious internet love life, talk to him and let him no you don't like it, if he loves you then he won't talk to her anymore , as far as I no my wife stopped but that's as far as I no. But seriously you don't deserve it no one does, flirting and joking around on the internet can lead to a lot more people just don't realize...
We've had problems with his female friends in the past. He always denies whatever it is we're talking about. We've had something similar to this happen exactly 7 times in the past 4 years. I went through his phone and found where they had been talking. She told him she missed him more than she could ever imagine. She was going on about how her and her boyfriend were on the brink of breaking up because they haven't had sex in over a year. I don't know if by saying that she was fishing for something or what? Usually when I see people say something like that they're looking for the other person to respond like "My god that's awful" and "everyone has needs" and take it a bit further than that by flirting their way to a bit of naughtiness.
Randomname, I cannot see how you cannot see that your fiancee is cheating on you and has been for the past 4 years.
If you were his 'one and only' he wouldn't have the need to go online/text to chat to other women...it's that simple....and it is cheating.
You need to take your thoughts further and decide whether you're going to marry this man who disrespects you in every way.
Your fiancee has no right to be in any other women's life to discuss with her, her lack of sex. Who cares if she's fishing?...the point is he shouldn't even be 'there'...he should be with you 100% in mind, body & soul.
You need to step back and have a good, hard look at your fiancee and his actions towards you.
I don't know enough to feel comfortable telling you he is in love with her for sure BUT I will tell you from what you have wrote on here. BIG red flag. You are not over reacting to worry about this. If your fiance has the ability to treat another woman with the care and love he s I would feel insecure if I was you in the relationship. Part of a monogamist relationship is giving the one person your choosing to spend the rest of your life with the attention and love they need. That attention and love should only be for the one they want to spend the rest of their live with. Understand he is not yet ready to be with just one and make a one on one commitment to you. He may love you but he obviously has feelings for this girl as well and if I was you I would take a step back, reevaluate and decide if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who is not making you his one and only. There are men out there that will make you their one and only and if I were you I would move on as hard as it will be to find someone that was really yours forever...The longer you wait the more painful it gets. :( AND just maybe you leaving will be the push he needs to love you and only you forever and will knock of the stupidity. (Don't count on that though).
I've actually been debating on leaving since late 2012. I haven't talked to him about leaving but I'm going to have to. Before he met me he had never had a stable relationship and at most his relationships would last less than six months before something would happen to it. I've been thinking lately that I think the only reason he proposed to me was because almost everyone he knew was in committed relationships and getting married and having children. I would like to think it's not true but it seems very likely. Kind of like he didn't want to be alone? I really do think that he loves her. He's always complimenting her about how beautiful she is. The only compliments he really ever gives me are ones regarding my body. I do appreciate everyone's opinions and feedback.