Need advice on a jealous boyfriend
I've been in a happy relationship for three years. My boyfriend is amazing, but tends to get jealous/paranoid that I'm cheating on him or interested in other guys (I'm not, at all). My cousin is studying fashion design and for her final marks she desperately needed models for the exhibition. I agreed and went, there were a lot of people but the dresses weren't revealing at all. I downplayed it to him because I knew he would freak out about how many people there were (he has a big temper) and things were fine. Now a mutual friend has posted a few exhibition photos on Facebook, none of me but I'm scared he'll make the connection. She has agreed to remove all the tags but the photos are still there. I'm really scared as I don't want to lose him or break up, but if he makes the connection he will either leave or lose all trust in me even though I have ALWAYS been loyal and never given him reason to worry.What should I do?
Since your relationship is good and your boyfriend is worthy, you can take steps to alleviate his jealousy. Talk to your boyfriend about the following approaches you will perform for his sake:
1. You will avoid friendship with any male that you don't have to be friends with. Your conversation with all males (except relatives) will be minimal.
2. You can give a clear description each day of the males you are forced to interact with, such as strangers or coworkers, and explain the reason clearly.
3. Do not do things such as modeling that might make YOU think that will inspire jealousy in your boyfriend. If you are nervous, it will eat away at your relationship even if he doesn't know about it.
4. Dress unattractively except for when you are with your boyfriend. Then dress to kill.
And ask your boyfriend if he has more suggestions of things that you can do or not do to make him have faith in you.
What I'm suggesting may sound anti-feminist, but it's not. It is to gain your boyfriend's trust. Once he feels that he can trust you, he may reduce the requirements about not interacting with other males. But even if he doesn't, he is worth the trouble if he is as amazing as you say.
The sacrifice on your part isn't that great because you don't care for other men anyway.
In the mean time, try not to let this be a big deal to you. This is your boyfriend's problem, not yours. Instead, ask yourself how he can improve for you. If you have to stay away from men, shouldn't you require something out of him in return? Buy you more chocolates? Flowers? Diamond rings?
Saturn, you are walking on eggshells because of your BF's behavior.
If you don't have trust, then you really don't have much of a relationship because trust is basically the foundation of any successful partnership.
You worry about your actions which can lead to your BF's big temper and therefore you are afraid to lead your normal life.
Do this long enough, and it won't be you losing him, it'll be him losing you, because the whole situation will eventually grind you down.
You need to discover the reason/s behind your BF's jealousy because while he remains this way, and you remain with him, he will always control you....and he's doing a pretty good job of that now because you are allowing it.
Your BF may be amazing but he's not supporting you and therefore he's not encouraging you or even allowing you to be yourself.
Rather than putting your effort into tiptoeing around him, put your effort into discovering why he is insecure.
Thank you for replying, I've been anxious about this and I really appreciate the replies. I don't want to have to change my whole personality to suit him. I seriously think I'm going to sit down and talk to him, I hope I can get through to him and explain that this was for a close family member and that it's not as serious as he thinks it is. I'm tired of having to be on my toes, but I want this relationship to last. Wish me luck!