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Difficulty in moving on from a broken relationship

ASIMPLEGUY1981
- Feb 9 2014 at 04:26
Member since: Feb 2014
Relationship advice Hi,

I am new to this group and site. I didn't knew where to turn for advice and hence trying my luck online.

This may sound a little cliche but it really is a pressing problem for me. I broke up with a girl long time back..10 years and counting. I had met her during my undergrad.

We were together for around 4 years but then broke up. However I have had a very tough time getting over her. No matter what I do my mind keeps going back to her. I keep imagining my life with her and picture her in many day to day situations I encounter. It is as if my mind is stuck in an endless loop.

I have had a great life otherwise...no issues whatsoever. I come from a good family, am well educated and have a decent paying job. I must admit that I have seen my parents fight a lot while growing up, my father was extremely strict towards me and we barely speak to each other till date. So that could be why I find myself in this mess. But no matter how hard I try to rationalize my way out and distract myself I catch myself often day dreaming about her. Its as if I can't convince myself that there could be someone better than her for me.

I don't mind giving more details about my past if you think that will help.

But please share with me any suggestions you might have. I am all ears.

best regards and thanks for reading

Difficulty in moving on from a broken relationship

DRSHAMP
- Feb 9 2014 at 05:34
Member since: Feb 2014
Dear ASIMPLEGUY,

Ten years and you are still thinking about her. Hmm. That is an impressively long time. I believe you should let it go. That is, don't fight it anymore. Accept the fact that she will be on your mind for years to come. Accept it and make the most of it, sort of like having an imaginary friend. Look on the bright side: it can help alleviate boredom sometimes.

And if you let it go, it might eventually go away. Your fighting it could be the fuel that keeps her image fresh. However, it may not go away for another 50 years.

Don't read too much into this or try to psychoanalyze yourself (maybe I can never love another? Maybe I should be single forever?). Sometimes the brain goes into an infinite loop, but luckily this is a small one. If you can't beat them, join them.

It's not so bad. It doesn't mean you can't date others or be married. Just make room for this unique situation in your heart and your life. It's not a big problem unless you make it that way.

In the mean time, enjoy life!

Dr. Shamp

Difficulty in moving on from a broken relationship

ASIMPLEGUY1981
- Feb 9 2014 at 05:40
Member since: Feb 2014
thanks for your reply. I will keep that in mind.

I does feel a little demeaning and shameful at times that I am here thinking about her while she might not be even sparing a thought for me.

Make me feel low in confidence and self-esteem.

thanks again.

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