I always feel confused and feel lost in my life, never knowing which way to turn
Okay so me and my boyfriend have known each other for 6 years but have just started dating 2 years ago. I am 22 and he is 23, we both still live at home with our parents. We are really close to each other, but over the two years I feel like I have lost my sense of individuality and I feel like I live in his shadow a lot. Always waiting on him to decided something or waiting on him to make plans with friends, and I know it's wrong of me but the sad part is I don't even realize when I am doing it. I have become to comfortable with the way things are, but I am now realizing it's not right. On top of that issue, his parents are basically kicking him out of the house in 2 weeks. We both lost our jobs, I have no money saved but he does. We have always talked about moving in together, but are realizing there is no way when I have no money or a job. So he is trying to figure out something else to work out for him. Meanwhile I am at my parent's house feeling super lost. And another issue I have is that on and off for about the past 4 months we have been questioning if we are right for each other. because i got the offer to move in with my friend in Boston and given the fact that I am only 22 and think that it would be a good way to find myself, although I love my boyfriend and would feel horrible leaving us to live on my own in a different city, this happened about 2 months ago. and he got hurt by the fact that i even considered moving away. and recently i have been having panic attacks and we have been arguing a lot and he has "broken up with me 2 different times" but then a day after we end up getting back together and apologizing and admitting our love for each other. I am just feeling really mentally exhausted and now with the topic of moving out and everything I just really could use an outsider's perspective on it all...sorry for the long post. I just could really use some insight. thanks!
Taylornoodle, You've asked and answered your question in the same post....you need to move away from your BF to give yourself some space...to find yourself as you state.
You need to clear your head with your relationship. If your BF truly loves you then it will work out. He'll always be there.
You need to look out for yourself, to be true to yourself. You need to go to Boston, you need to experience life a bit more.
By staying where you are, the problem will always be there and you'll kick yourself later for not taking an opportunity when it was presented.
Your arguments with your Bf and your panic attacks are the result of your procrastination which stems from your lack of confidence but you're instinct is telling you to make a positive move.
You need to distance yourself to get the confidence you need to mature. At the age of 22, you're in the box seat to do this now.