Confused, engaged with problems and health issues
Hello, I am not even sure how to start. I have been engaged for a few years and I have been with my fiance/bf for 6 years now. We have had a lot of issues along the way but I always felt we can power through it, until recently. It feels like we are fundamentally different, he likes familiarity, and I like trying different things. He has anxiety issues, I have depression issues. And now the biggest hurdle he has prostrate issues which with is anxiety makes him very anti social and always want to stay home, I am 25 he is 28, when we first started dating I was in school he was working, now he is in school and I am working, he has a home business but his school and car eats a lot of his money, and we hardly go out anymore, I take us out sometimes he does sometimes but For the past few months he has cancelled on me so many dates, he even cancelled on me on Valentines day, we have a long weekend here in Canada and I did not see him at all the whole time. He said he is giving me space, but I think he unconsciously given up on the relationship, he keeps telling me he will try to fix things, he will take better care of himself, but I dont see him trying, this past few days all he keeps saying is that I cant give you the life you want or need, I am sick, If you want this relationship to work you will have to come see me all the time until I figure things out..That sounds fair I know but we have been having problems for over a year and a half almost two years now and I don't know what to do anymore. I am starting to resent him for all the cancelations, I feel like he isnt trying for us to work, that he expects me to do all the work, and I know thats not how relationship work, but he's sick with something that is incurable a chronic condition that will be with him the rest of his life, we havent been intimate in ages, we dont even kiss anymore, because he feels uncomfortable sometimes with his issue physically. I don't know what to do anymore, everyone all my friends my sister keep telling me to just move on, but I don't know if I can. I can't see a life without him but with how things are I cant see a life with him either... I would appreciate any comments or advice. Thank you
Looks like he is going into a depression due to him being unwell. If you still love him, you will have to work very hard to get him out and back into life. All the cancellations stem from the depression, the feeling that I am not good enough for you any more. If you have to get him out then you have to work on his confidence first. Keep assuring him in every way possible that he is special for you more than anyone else. The path is not easy and simple. The biggest question is are you ready for that?