I need some advice on how to proceed with this. I have lost my marriage of 32 years about 5 weeks ago with my husband and a bout a week ago a man was kind enough to sit with me and have a beer whilst i was upset. He likes me and itis such a good distraction after i have been devastastated, crying, feeling like taking a overdose etc. He quickly admitted to likeing me and invited me over the next night for a few drinks with some friends and i ended up staying till very late and had sex with him on his request. He is a very decent sort of 49 year old man that has been out of his marriage for 14 years and is a hard worker and treats everyone with respect. Very kind and a help to anyone. He quickly told me he felt like he wanted to have a relationship with me and felt very comfortable with me but really didn't look desperate or anything. He and I just got together at this time. I saw him that friday and then not at all for a few days. He sent me a text each day on the monday following and the tuesday I asked him if he'd like another drink and so we had a drink. I made arrangements to see him again on that next friday and we spent the night together again. I invited him over to my house the next night on the saturday for a meal and he was a little aloofish...saying he didn't want any pressure as he had lived alone for a long time and even though he held my hand here and there did not want to reach over and kiss me or anything. I went back to his house for a while before i had to go and get my daughter from the city as it was her date night. Whislt waiting for that call he acted very tired and I asked him if he wanted me to go and he said yeah he was very tired and after a while he escorted me out to the door to leave apologising he was very tired etc. I left feeling very let down as my daughter had said she would not want a lift whilst i was there and expected to spend some more time with him,/ He said he'd ring me the next day and i got a text asking how i was to which i said good and he said he was still very tired. That was yesterday. Today is his birthday and I just texted him at work with a happy birthday to which i got a reply....thankyou. He has his place to himself tonight and he hasn't asked for me to come over and see him at all. This is the same man that after my first visit with him has asked me to go away a week later with him on an overnight holiday and said he'd like a relationship. I have a big sexual appetite when I was with him but he enjoyed himself and it wasn't that unusual. I feel very neglected and confused by all the diferent signals. I am not going to chase him as I feel he should be texting me each day but this is really bizarre. What does any one make of this?
What I make of this is that after losing 32 years in a marriage, you are very vulnerable. The first guy that comes along, and you are swept off your feet.
This man has 14 years without a woman in his life (day to day) and can probably see that you are on the re-bound and moving way too fast for him.
I think that you have some work still to do about processing your marriage loss. Perhaps counseling with someone you can talk to about setting some goals for yourself for the future.
I also suggest that you step back from this man in terms of what you expect from him. You are not ready for an intense relationship and your starvation for attention and sex may have shocked him.
Please try to slow down and heal.