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Lack of sex

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My boyfriend and I used to have a healthy sex life, but then I started hurting. I have random uterine cramps, on and off my period. It hurts during inter course when it never has before and intercourse increases the uterine pain afterwards. Consequently, we have been having less and less sex. My boyfriend is constantly mad at me when I say no because I know it is going to hurt. When I do say yes, and he knows I'm in pain he just keeps going. We've been fighting more and more about it and I haven't yet gotten it checked out due to financial and time issues. Shouldn't he respect the fact that I hurt? I know sex is a crucial part of any relationship, and we still have it about twice a week, but I can't take all the fighting anymore and I feel like he doesn't care that I hurt, and every time I bring up getting checked he changes the subject. I don't know what to do anymore. And I know we could do hand jobs and blow jobs instead. I do on occasion, but i guess I'm weird because those things really bother me, so I avoid them if at all possible. Any suggestions?

Lack of sex

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Dear, you need to get checked ASAP. It may be nothing but it could also be some underlying condition or disease too! As for your boyfriend's behaviour, if he is a selfish person then he will care only for himself. If he is not, then probably this situation has been going on for a longer time than he could take it and is just totally irritated with it. It is inconsiderate but what to do sometimes some people can't stretch their patience beyond their original limits, isn't it? Get checked up, if boyfriend is not cooperating find someone else to go with you (like your mother or sister or if no one else then atleast a friend).

Lack of sex

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You MUST go to the Dr. This man should contribute to any cost for a complete checkup for you. He sounds selfish and not caring for your feelings, only HIS..

Lack of sex

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I agree ... you need to see a doctor. There are health clinics like planned parenthood and women's health clinics all over the country that would be able to see you. Just give them a call and say that you don't have insurance or a lot of money. Many places have a sliding scale where you pay what you can. You don't say how old you are, or how old your boyfriend is ... yes, sex is an important part of a relationship - but what you are describing is not cool at all. His concern should be on the pain you are experiencing, not on getting sex. He doesn't care that you are in pain and keeps going? That is horrible. I am sorry that you have had that experience. Sex really can be a beautiful and intimate experience. But it can also be traumatic and hurtful. You are continuing to have sex because he wants it. Even though it is hurting you. I'm concerned for you, because no one should have sex if they don't want to, or if it hurts, or if they are only doing it to keep the peace in a relationship. Yes, he should respect the fact that you hurt. The fact that he persists could mean that he wants to pretend this isn't problem. But that will never make a problem go away. Sex isn't nearly as crucial to a relationship as love. It is not a substitute for showing someone you love them. And it is not a physical requirement in being with someone. The way this is going, you may develop something psychological against sex in the future. If you don't like handjobs or blowjobs, then maybe you already have something psychological against sex. I don't know what you mean by a "healthy sex life" exactly ... did you used to enjoy it, but now feel pain so you don't? Or do you mean healthy as in having sex without pain? Because you are doing it even though you are experiencing pain, probably whenever you think of sex now, you think of the pain and the fighting. It sounds like you don't want to lose your boyfriend, and that is why you are having sex even though it hurts you. Please, please know that a person who truly loves and cares for you would never force you to do something knowing that it causes you pain - and that includes sex. Is your relationship good in other ways? What is keeping you with this person? He is not giving you the emotional and physical care you need right now. He could be scared. He could show you love in other ways. But he could also be incredibly selfish - I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt here. You need to take care of yourself. And he needs to help you do that. That is an essential part of what it means to be in a relationship. That has nothing to do with sex, that's love. And if he won't help you care for yourself, and he insists on having sex with you even though it is painful and the hurt could be due to larger health issues, then I am sorry but he doesn't sound like a good boyfriend. You are worthy of love and care and respect. Sex is secondary to all that. Best of luck to you. xo

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