Relationship advice please?
I'm still a teenager, so many people may think I don't know what love is yet. But I have feeling and I really do care about this boy. We started messing around my freshman year he's a year older. We have that off and on relationship. Well this summer he found out his girlfriend was pregnant which they are off and on too. Their baby is about 7 months now he lived with them for about 3 months they haven't been together since. So we recently started messing around, that stopped when he went back to her because she wouldn't let him see his son. But I found out the other day I am also Pregnant. I don't know what to do. Should I tell him? That would only mess up their Relationship and their son deserve to have his father around but so does mine right? But he also has so much going for him right now another kid would just mess it up for him. His going away to play college ball this fall. I wouldn't wanna hold him back. I just don't know what to do.
Faithlynn, this guy has used you and now you find yourself in a real dilemma.
If you become a parent, you will be a parent for life and it's a huge responsibility. If you feel you were responsible enough to go with this guy, then birth control, especially in this day and age, should have been a priority.
He IS already a father and not a very good one. It's not so much about you telling him about your pregnancy and really, if you think it will mess up his relationship with the child's mother and his son then you need to understand that it was already messed up before you came on the scene. Why would he have gone with you in the first place if his first relationship was solid?
He's demonstrated to you (apart from the obvious) that he's irresponsible and incapable of providing any sort of stability to a relationship by his very actions concerning the mother of his son.
His son deserves a loving, stable environment provided by his parents. Can this guy do that? Can he provide that? How can you expect him to give your child support when he can't give it to his first born?
You need to understand that your priorities now rest solely with you and your future child. You need to now plan your life to ensure that your child has the best start to life.
I'm sorry Faithlynn, but you will never hold this guy back, regardless of your misplaced loyalty to him. Sure, tell him you're pregnant but forget about him and his disrespectful ways because I'm sorry, but I think you'll find that, in his mind, he has already forgotten about you. He has other priorities now.
How sad he has no understanding what he is leaving in his wake. He tearing apart lives and compromising the new lives he is creating. Let him go. He is of no help to you and anyone else no doubt . He is so deeply in love with himself he will never recognize the love around him. You are on your own with a beautiful baby- a baby innocent of the false love professed by the father. The baby is ready to love you-with every bit of its being. There is not greater. Raising a child will tax your very being—but during those late nights- the feel of warmth, the gentle touch will bring a joy you will remember throughout your life. Forget the father do not allow him to ruin what is now between you and your baby. Enjoy the love and let the cloud in your life pass and never to return.