Need help getting in a relationship
This is kinda sad. I'm an 18 year old guy and I'm really lonely. I have tried so hard over the years to get a girlfriend but have been turned down every time. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm really nice, sweet, and respectful. I'm a martial arts instuctor and have an associate's degree in arts and sciences already. I'm somewhat funny. And l am really respectful towards women. I don't know what i'm doing wrong. I've never even had a girlfriend before other than a long distance one that lasted 3 weeks. Can anyone give me some advice?
ML, it doesn't matter who your are, where you're from, what you look like, what you've achieved and how you are educated....there's a woman out there for you...you just have to wait for the right one to come along and when she does, it'll have been worth the wait.
Hey It must be frustrating for you. But do not sweat. There is nothing you are doing that is wrong at all....
Continue following your passions and the things you like , the chances are there is a girl somewhere thinking the same.....
You and this girl WILL cross paths, when you least expect it.
There is probably a gal right in front of you that you are not seeing . . . Be more aware.
In the meantime, do some volunteer work. That's a great way to meet gals. How about offering a women's safety class at the local school?
Great idea about the woman's class..... Self defense ..... !!!
You want to attract love.... let go of looking for it.
The more you do positive things for you, the closer you will get to meeting her....
Have you ever read the secret? I suggest reading it, it you attract not ever having a girlfriend or getting one this will manifest more and more and you are attracting not having a girlfriend by thinking about it so much, try and concentrate on other things in your life, you sound very motivated within your career focus on that and focus on being successful and success will come to you in many forms including getting that one person your looking for!
Thanks so much for the advice guys. I understand what your saying and it does make perfect sense. And about the volunteer work, that does sound like a good idea. The self-defense class idea does too. So, are you guys saying that I should kinda stop looking for love and just let love come to me?
You said it ML, absolutely.
Your not doing anything wrong maybe theres someone out there waiting to meet you so dont worry and just be patient you will eventully meet the right women for you.
I will try to wait, but it will definitely be hard to do. Loneliness is a crazy feeling. Haha.
Perhaps you are going too much by standards? You need to understand when some girl shows a little interest in you and if you are also interested, you need to be flirty sometimes and watch her reaction. If she gives you positive signs, proceed ahead.
I try that sometimes. But I have a shy personality. When I walk up to the girl, it gets awkward because I don't really know what to say. Does any of you have any tips to help that? And I don't want to end up saying something disrespectful to the girl.
The best tip in the world is just be you......
if you like a girl get to know her ...let it happen naturally.....
Ask her for a coffee and just be you... if a girl likes you she will respond ....
believe me nothing worse than a silly chat up line... it can come across as sleazy.
Also I am female and shyness is a very attractive quality.... you will come into your own when you allow yourself to not worry son much about trying to find the girl.
I can understand the frustration..... but do let that get in on you ..... it will ruin your good qualities....
Thanks for the advice Mountain. I really appreciate it. That does seem like very good advice. And to hear from a female that shyness is attractive is cool. I will take your advice and use it. I will try not to worry so much. Thanks again :)
Never get into a relationship because you’re lonely! The hole point about being a couple is because you love them, not because they’re the first and best to come along. Been there, done that, and it only resulted in me breaking his heart. He was a pushy awkward jerk, but still. I was really in love with a boy, I realized he would never love me, and I was so heartbroken. So I did what I have always told myself never to do, and accepted the first guy to come along. He was super pushy, and before I knew it he was pressuring me to "sleep over".. Soo I dumped him. Being with the “wrong” person, always feels wrong, it always does, so I’m just waiting for the boy to come along, and make it "feel right". And you, should do the same.
Just relax, don’t be pushy, or too intense. And remember, love is NOT about the looks, but about the feeling. And if you flirt with "cheap" (you know what I mean) girls, the girl you really want, will probably get the wrong idea, and back away. So many boys do that, they flirt with the girls who signalize sooo much that they’re always free, that all the other girls thinks he’s either an ass, a pig or just not worth they’re time.
And of course, you don’t want to be that guy, whose tried flirting with all the girls, and rejected by them all…
But anyways, you can do it, I can do it, just stay strong!
All you have to do is be confident in yourself when you walk up to the girl. Now look at yourself....there is nothing wrong with you. You are nice, sweet, respectful even a little funny. So whats lacking? Confidence in yourself that you can win a girl. Its a major turn on for girls to see the guy is confident. Trust yourself, you are capable. Just be yourself while talking to her rather than worry yourself as to what I'll say to her, what will she think, will I be successful etc.
Walk up to her and just say Hi, introduce yourself (if you don't know each other) and just be yourself....funny, confident, sweet. As you get friends, ask her what she likes eat, ask what flowers are her favourite, shows she likes to watch etc. That will give you an idea of her idea of a good date. Ask her for a date and try to incorporate her likes into that date.
Thanks everyone for your advice. :). It's really helpful.