Girlfriend and her exboyfriend
Me and my girlfriend have been together 5 months now. It has been a great relationship and she has all the qualities that I look for in a girl and we go together great. We both say we love each other and I think it is real. I come into this relationship as a 4 year bachelor and never actually being in love. My girlfriend has had 2 serious boyfriends. The first was a puppy love but indeed serious. They dated for two years in high school then she had to move 6 hours away and they ended things. They both dated somebody else for the test of high school. Before the end of high school as her and her boyfriend were going separate directions for college and they weren't too deep serious so they both decided to end it. Going into first year of college, she went back to her old home town and stayed with friends for the summer. There she reconnected to the guy she loved from younger high school years. They were together for part of the summer until he went back to his old girlfriend again and broke her heart(again after moving away). Now as we both are in college we started dating about 4 months after this happened. I knew about her past with him and we had talked about it and I really felt she was past that. She now has told me crying and regretful that during our spring break last week(I was I skiing in Colorado and she was at the beach with tons of people from our college and her old hometown) that she was drunk and kissed(a short kiss) her ex bf. I was calm and understanding about it but I asked her does she still have feeling for him and she said "I don't know we will never be together anyways". She said that she loves me and I believe her in the way she acts and is loving all other occasions. Question 1. Should I forgive and forget this because I believe this is real. Question 2. How can I help her get completely over her ex if that is really what she wants.
Drew, you need to understand that if your GF was truly over her ex she would have stayed out of his personal space, regardless if she was dunk or not.
She would have been able to front him and 'keep her distance' in any environment whether you were there or not.
When she states "we'll never be together anyway" she still has a yearning. Her relationship ended with this guy because of the distance between them.
She may never get over her ex completely. She may always reserve a little space in her heart for him. If you understand this, then you will be able to forgive and forget.
But take two steps back and look at this as a trust issue because if you didn't have doubts about her, you wouldn't be here on this forum. If you instinctively knew that this relationship was the real thing, you wouldn't have to worry about a stolen kiss.
And Drew, 5 months is early days.....
I agree. Five months is not time enough to really test this relationship.
But . . . I would watch her behavior when she is drinking. If she was committed to you, then she should not have been that close to ANY dude - much less one from the past.
Her behavior will reveal all - but that takes time.