Can you get counseling for this?
There are techniques to use when you get a "trigger" that sets you off. And there are medications that help with your anxiety.
I know you blame that one incident, but I suspect it was the reactions of the adults around you that really frightened you and you lashed out because you were afraid. Plus, you may feel anger about being "abandoned" by your grandfather. Children often feel that way when a parent or grandparent dies. Please get some help - good luck.
How is your life at present going?
Do you do drugs?
Do you play video games?
What are your plans for the future/ college/work?
Do you play a sport?
The above questions may make things clearer as to the cause and possibly lead to the solution.
You have to be honest with yourself. Who are you angry with? Isn't really yourself? Try not to panic you are defending or reacting to something.
You do not want to go to jail, it will only lead to more anger.
I think private counseling will help and then group counseling.
You are not on your own....
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