Lately I've been feeling really sad. I want to talk about my issues with my best friend but I don't want to burden her with my problems. Recently an old friend of mine came back from South Korea, he's in the Military. We've been friends for more than 5 years so I consider him to be my best and only guy friend. When we were young we worked together as paid volunteers and we became friends because our personalities fit together.In 2012, I began to catch feelings for him but I wasn't too sure if I was really in love with him or just lonely. Quickly coming out of that mix up I confessed to him and told him I like him more than a friend. What shocked me was to find out that he always had feelings for me. My mother and a few old coworkers knew this but I didn't. So from there we hit it off pretty good. Until now. I mentioned before that he's back in town and I'm happy because we've been in love since he's been away. But lately I feel like I'm the only one in love. I've been trying everyday to have him open up to me about how he feels. I know he has been struggling with the military life being alone with no one to come home to, but I tell him I'm here for him.But he's changed. The sex is amazing but our communication is not there anymore. This past week has been hard for me because I haven't heard from him. The week before that we spent a whole weekend together making love and having fun, but I messed up not having a real sit down and talk with him.I'm not sure if he even loves me anymore. In 2013, I became pregnant but had a miscarriage. He was already stationed in South Korea so I had to deal with the miscarriage alone. To this very day I blame myself for the miscarriage because I lifted up something heavy, but when I talk to him about it he blows me off about the subject. To make matters worse my mother is not talking to me. She won't even look at me. My mother thinks I'm being a slut for sleeping with this guy and spending my nights with him just for some piece of ass. I tried telling her that I might not see him for the next 2-5 years because where he will be station at next, but she won't listen. I'm not sure anymore maybe I am a slut for putting his feelings first before my own. Sometimes I get angry knowing I'm not like his ex girlfriend who is in the military and can relate to him more. I want to tell him what's going through my mind but I feel like if I do I might break down and cry. I don't want to be considered a jealous bitch or an emotional wreck.I cry everyday because I'm sacrificing everything for this man that might not love me anymore. Men call me beautiful, they tell me I have a great personality and for him to be lucky to have me. Yes I gained a little weight but he loves thick woman so I don't mind the weight gain. I'm still in shape because I dance. I have my life together. Yes I'm in school getting my college degree and I have a great job, but is that enough to be the perfect woman for him. I have one health flaw and he knows that, but everything else I'm considered well put together. HELL even his mother loves me. What is wrong with me? I don't want him to leave me. I don't know what to do. Please help me!!
You need to ask yourself why your mother won't talk to you or even acknowledge you. Look beyond the first thought that comes to you about this.
You stated that she knew in the first place that this guy had feelings for you and you were shocked when you found out about them...but your mother knew.
Now your mother knows something else too and rather than ask us for advice on this forum, you need to go to your mother and listen to her because I think you'll find her advice on the state of your relationship with this guy will be correct in every way.
Look, this guy is in the military, but if he felt about you the way you feel about him, you could follow him wherever he would go. But he doesn't want that.
Right now, you are just having an affair with a soldier. He has no intention of moving this forward.
You mother may be angry because you are trying to make this into something it isn't.
Sorry to be so brutal, but you cannot throw away you life on a no-win relationship.