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She's pushing me down to feel better with herself

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Well, I’m this weird little 17 year old girl. Describing myself, I’m the type of girl who just doesn’t know how to be bitchy or ever bullying anyone. I always feel sorry for “outsiders” and befriend them; this has come to be, both good and bad results through the years. But I know how it feels to be left out, so why would I want anyone else to feel that way? (And I over talk.. sorry) I have one of those stupidly innocent, childish faces, but juust pretty enough for some people to feel threat… So people who feel the need, can easily see me as a pushover. So I’m in my first year of high school, and I have three really good friends, all to some degree “left outs” , but they’re totally awesome. The thing is that one of my friends is having some serious self-esteem problems. She wants to be cool and popular sooo badly. It’s just that she ALWAYS gives up, on everything. She only gets bad grades, and she’s really intense, so most kids just can’t stand her. I do, I don’t want her to be alone, so I’m one of the few people that are actually nice to her. The thing is, that sometimes when girls with low self-esteem, wants to “lift them self-up” they take the most pushover type of person close to them, and starts to do just that, push them down. And yes, I have become that person. Every single opportunity she gets she makes me feel bad about myself, and look bad in front of my friends. She calls me stupid blonde, and dumb. And she tries to make me feel bad at the things I’m actually good at. The other day she called me stupid, and I reminded her that my grades were actually better than hers, and she had the nerve to call me socially awkward, and that she had street smarts, something I could need. She’s also slowly trying to push me out of the gang and make me the “gang looser”. She even called me a sissy today, the girl who always gives up, called me a sissy! She sickens me! I’ve talked to the other people in my group about it, and they have noticed her bulling too, so at least they’re aware. We’re working out a solution, but it’s not really a solution to talk with her about it, as shell only hate me forever, turn me in some twisted way into the bad guy, and take none of the blame herself.. People of the internet! Help me!

She's pushing me down to feel better with herself

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Abby, she can't be a "really good friend" if she constantly puts you down. She can only put you down if you let her. Why bother with her if she doesn't appreciate your friendship and your efforts to help her fit in? If you don't know how to be bitchy then that means you can only be mature about it. If you're 'blind' enough to anywhere near her, then you're just asking for her abuse because she perceives you're the easy target because of your personality. If she's a bully, then stand up to her because she'll be a coward as well and if your group knows what's going on, then she'll find herself on the outer with all of you real quick. Let her be miserable, she hasn't any social skills whatsoever but don't give her the satisfaction of trying to drag you down to her level. She will learn the hard way in life but you don't have to be one of those people she steps on. Totally awesome friend?...I doubt it.

She's pushing me down to feel better with herself

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Abby - I wonder why you would hang with a person like that - at the expense of yourself. Stop taking on that role of the pushover and unconditional friend and start demanding that people treat you like you treat them. People like her zap your energy. I know what she is, but I can't figure out what you are getting from this entire scene.

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