He was stuck in my head because things did not end the way I wanted them to. So I always felt that I needed the last word.
Even that didn't help. Time will be the great healer.
In the meantime, make new memories with your husband and put a rubber band on your wrist. SNAP it every time you think of him.
HE apparently filled a need for you. See if you can discover what it was that he fulfilled for you and see if you can capture that with your husband.
You are going after the wrong person. He was never in love with you. Only sexual interest. He has started thinking about you again (after the text) means getting together sexually which is he knows is not possible and hence he gets hurt. There is no love here!
He doesn't care about how you feel either. He is selfish. Only feels he shouldn't get hurt even if you are 100 times more hurt.
Why are you in love with such a person? There is no life with him. Even if you had decided for him, you would have been left alone to fight your own emotional battles in the future. I would say he is a bad partner for you.
Understand the reality and try to put your 100% in your marriage.
This thread has expired, but why not create your own?