I deeply value relationships in life. Be it family, friends or love. I was in a serious relationship with a guy sometime back. We both really loved each other. We belong to an Indian society and though things and people's perspective are changing with time, we were still a bit old fashioned and did not believe in casual dating and all. We chose to be together because everything seemed to be going right, be it between ourselves or the families (that matters a lot). We had strong intentions of not indulging in physical relationship before marriage. But things did not go the way they were desired. In a private moment, we got so excited and emotionally overcome that we did it. I did not have much idea about the hymen being the biological parameter relating to virginity. In the process, it did hurt, of course, and when I saw the first drop of blood, I was taken aback and came back to my senses. He was scared to see me cry. Now, I feel that I am not a virgin.
Things did not remain the same between the families due to some other reason and we had to part. I tried to cling on to him for the reason mentioned above. All in vain. Both of us were helpless. Now I have moved on over him.
Since sometime, a very old friend of mine expresses his feelings for me. Not that I don't like him, but I am not in a mood to venture again. He too doesn't demand a reply. But I feel that e might present his desires in front of the family when time comes. I am puzzled if I should tell him about my incident or not. He knows that I had a past relationship. (I do not have the guts to say it. A girl's virginity is her family's respect. This is a sensitive issue in India.) Moreover, there are reasons like, "What will he think about me?" etc. And not just him, how can I tell someone, who comes to see me on account of an arranged marriage, if that is what's in my fate, all this? It's embarrassing.
As far as you telling the person is concerned, you can tell them that you have had a past relationship which didn't work out. But thats all you need to share. Why do you want to share the intimacy details? Not every person is mature enough to handle these facts properly such that they don't interfere with your daily married life.
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