PeoplesProblems Logo

Head or heart

Default profile image
Emotional advice I have a big problem, please help. So I never ask for advice but I think I'm stuck now, Im only 21yrs old and have a kid, have no parents and live by my self, PLEASE HELP. My ex boyfriend and I have a kid together, we dated for 4.5years and broke up last year September. I met a new guy thinking he was a rebound but turned out hes really great and we've been dating for 5 months and I am so inlove with him. Now since my ex and I broke up I've been waiting for the day he asks me to take him back 'cause I really still love my ex, I mean we share a kid. Now since me and my ex broke up hes ignored me and never even said 'Hello' but yesterday for the first time in 6 months he texted me saying "I want you back, I miss you" now I know my ex cheated on me twice with this one girl and his excuse was I didnt give him enough love because of the baby, but thats no excuse right? And he lied about the cheating, never told me, I found out via the grape vine that he cheated on me the night before my birthday when he was supposed to take me out to dinner, he made other plans with friends so then this happened. I dumped him in September '13 because of the cheating and he blamed me for it and hated me. I really still love him and feel like I should go back to him but this new guy is so amazing, he is so caring, not a day has gone by where he hasn't told me I'm beautiful, he has all the time in the world for me, he tells me he loves me and he buys me gifts and jewelry and he loves my son. Please help, I don't know what to do anymore? I really love my ex and I know he loves me and I want the happy family image where my son knows his father and mother to love each other, but I enjoy being treated with love and respect and being given all the time in the world? What should I do? Should I go have coffee with my ex? Or should I ignore his texts?

Head or heart

Default profile image
Hi Cloud 7, i understand what you are going through. its hard to forgive and we ask ourselves whether people deserve our forgiveness. For your son's sake, i would suggest that you meet and talk with your ex. But remember that given that he wants you back, you can now set the rules for a return. tell him how u want him to change, like u want him to help u look after ur son, that u spend time together every day, etc... Based on whether he accepts the rules, u will know whether he has changed or not.

Head or heart

Default profile image
Bad Boys, Bad Boys . . .

Some girls love those bad boys.

You have a wonderful man who wants to be with you, yet you are drawn back to this bad boy.

Yes, you have a problem, but it isn't the men in your life.

Head or heart

Default profile image
Start over with you ex. If he's changed, you will certainly be able to tell. Don't rush into things. Start off as friends, then build on from there. If he truly cares about you, he will do anything for your relationship to work out. Let him know you'll meet him half way. Just a suggestion. Good luck!

Head or heart

Default profile image
Start over with you ex. If he\'s changed, you will certainly be able to tell. Don\'t rush into things. Start off as friends, then build on from there. If he truly cares about you, he will do anything for your relationship to work out. Let him know you\'ll meet him half way. Just a suggestion. Good luck!

Head or heart

Default profile image
I would not go back.....he can still be a dad to your son...
May I ask has he seen his son in this time? You say he ignored you? He cheated on you because of his son presence, TWICE... was suppose to take you out for you bday.....

Good for you that you dumped him.... well done ...

Stay with the guy that treats you right.... you will always naturally want the bio family for your child..... but it is happiness that is important....

You have come so far...... ignore him......

I am going to ask you this question and it should answer the question for you.....

In the text after 6 months out of the blew when it suited him..... did he ask you can I see my kid or miss his kid?

Or is this just him trying to destroy the positive loving environment that you have built for your baby with this new man....

If you want to go back to get burnt then please have the decency to let this lovely man you are with today let him go ..... he deserves better than you if you entertain him.


Head or heart

Default profile image
you've lasted this long without him, he had six months to contact you and chose not to. During that time you met an amazing guy who clearly makes u happy. Don't go back just look forward and continuing living your life the way you have been

Head or heart

Default profile image
Did your ex do it genuinely or was it just a weak moment (may be under alcohol effect?) He should have followed it up with you if he was serious.

Think for yourself whom are you more in love with? Whom do you see sharing your sorrow and problems with?

My 2 cents, I wouldn't commit to either. Will leave it to time as to who proves to be more stable beside me.

Head or heart

Default profile image
Sweet Cloudy,
The old saying goes, and today still holds true: "A zebra doesn't change his stripes," and this cheating cougar is no exception to my rule. You can take him back tomorrow, and maybe he will be this "St. Paul" for the next few months, perhaps longer. However, somewhere down the line of pussy cats, the sneaky tom will find Another excuse to "hoe with another hoe," and the saga continues. He can't be trusted. Three strikes and he would be Totally OUT the next time.
You have this fabulous new guy who you say is so "amazing and caring," and compliments you, loves you and your son, and offers You the world on a silver platter. You are Not going to find That in your Ex, no matter how many times he says he "loves and misses you." He is Not capable of any of this. He's heartless and selfish, and a cowardly lion to boot.
I also realize you want "the happy family image" and all the fairy tale fantasy to go along with this, but it's not going to happen, and if it Would---the Cinderella story book would close itself in its own time once again.
If you do decide to take the Prince you have now, go ahead and make that coffee date with your Ex. He Is the father of your son, and deserves to know how you feel face to face, rather than be "ignored through a text." You both can decide on visiting times with your son, and hopefully he will be Man enough to walk away without a fight. If he refuses, then get a lawyer to handle whatever business you need with him and his boy. It's Then you could Still keep your son, your prince, your self respect and-----"be given all the time in the world."
Good luck.xx

Head or heart

Default profile image
The obvious thing to do is to go for the new guy. Sure, your ex is your child's father, but he doesn't act like it and sure the hell won't be a proper father figure if he's willing to run off with another woman and ditch his own child.

This new guy seems like a keeper, and loves you even though you come with "extra baggage."

This guys is amazing, you love him, and he seems like a decent father figure for your child. Leave that jerk of an ex. You and your child deserve better

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

B-2