PeoplesProblems Logo

Alcoholic ex-fiancé

Default profile image
Hello everyone, this is my first post. I just want to share my story with you guys. I was a normal girl living my normal life before I met him. Then one day, he sent me message on my dating site. He lives in Canada and I live in Indonesia. We started talking everyday since then, he called me 3x a day, we skyped, chat. A month after that he told me that he wanted to meet me in person. So he fly to me and we met. Everything went great and he proposed. That day I thought I was the luckiest girl alive. I told everyone I know about my engagement. I love him so much. He really connect with my parents. He has a nice job. Nice personality. And he is cute. We decided to go on a holiday. Where we have to be together for 24/7. Then everything start to fall apart. He can't let go of his gin and tonic. He drinks all the time. The only time he is not drinking is when he is sleeping or taking a shower. He told me that he only drink on vacation, so I let him drink. But day after day, his drinking habit is getting worse and worse. He start to get really drunk. He treat me differently when he is drunk. Suddenly my prince charming was gone, he turned into this cold mean person. So I told him to stop drinking. Then he cried. He told me that he is an alcoholic. He went into treatment 3 times and nothing worked. Also, he told me all the lies he was hiding. Turns out he married for 10years before then got divorced and has a son. He said his wife cheated on him and his son does not want to meet him anymore. He also open up to me about his exes. He dated a Japanese before and live together for 2 years, and her father does not approve their relationshiop so they broke up. Second exes was a Chinese girl, he told me that she killed herself because she thought he does not want to marry her and inherit him with a lot of money. He also told me that he is using Cocaine but not addicted. As a girl that blinded with love that time, all I did is forgive him with all his lies and give him another chance in life. I told him to reduce the drinking and stop using drugs. I asked him to start a new life together. He agreed. But his attitude does not say the same. His drinking habit getting worse and worse. I even have to tell my parents about his alcoholism. My parents understand and willing to help. One night when he was passed out, I told myself that this is weird. There must be something he hides from me. So I took his iPad and check everything. And then I found out he still in touch with his Japanese ex where he said before that he does not talk or have feelings for her anymore. I read the emails carefully, it really breaks my heart. I read words like "you are the only girl that I love in my life", "life is not the same without you", "I can not have a relationship with any other girl where my heart is still beating for you". I still remember clearly how it hurts, I was completely fall to the ground, my feet lost it's ability to stand. Then I woke him up, asking for an explanation. But wrong, he is drunk. I don't get the explanation that I want, in fact he yelled at me "If you contact her I will f*cking kill you". I was so scared, I can't go anywhere, we were staying in a private villa in nowhere. So I waited til the morning come, he apologized. He said that he was drunk and didn't know what he was saying. And he told me that there is nothing between him and his ex. They cant be together, and that email happened before he proposed. I trusted him one more time. The next day, a new problem came. I found out that his Chinese ex that killed herself is pretty much alive. And I found out that he is still pretty active in many dating sites. I confronted him again. And yet wrong time again because he was drunk. I can not wait until he is sober, which is 1hr after he woke up in the morning. So I confronted him, and he punched a window glass. He shouted to me that he did nothing wrong, he is a good person. Feeling so tired I said ok lets pretend that nothing happened. Then he flew back to Canada. Since then he changed. He never called me anymore. He reply very short to my text. He keep saying that he has a lot to do. I gave him 2days. And I asked him what is really happening. At first he said nothing wrong. Then he told me everything. He told me that he has not go to his work for 2 months because his drinking. Not only alcoholism, but also he addicted to drugs. And he told me that he had a change of heart. He fall in love with a transgender guy. He might be gay, but he does not know it yet, he is confuse. That is why he keep drinking and using drugs. To avoid the reality. He also told me that he does not have any money because of his drinking habit. So we came to a decision to seperate. For the sake of my future and sanity I can not be with him anymore. No matter how much I love him, I have to leave. Alcoholism is a very dark disease, because alcoholics tend to lies and violent. To be honest, until now I can't trust 100% of his stories. But one thing I know is I made a right decision to leave him. And lesson learnt, never commit so quick to someone. It does not matter how crazy you guys fall in love, please try to know him/her better before decided to commit.

This thread has expired - why not start your own?