In love with ex, there's more to it than that
My ex and I dated off and on for a year and a half. His name is Dave. The 4 years we've known each other, we have never been just friends. Someone has always had feeling or we would meet up and stuff would happen. Everything leads back to him, its an endless cycle no matter how much I try to forget him. He always brokeup with me for stupid reasons, but now hes trying to get his life together. He was never good at expressing his emotions, but lately he tells me he wants me, he wants me in his life, he misses me. I forgot what I said, but he ends up saying no its more than that as if he loves me, but won't say it. It seems like he gets frustrated when he says that. Anyways heres the problem, he's suppose to be moving 6 hours away with his parents, he was going to get his own place and stay but it didnt work out. He said he needs a car, but cant afford it right now. So I have this idea that he should move in with my family and I. We have a spare room, he can walk to school and his job, he doesn't really need a car where I live. That way he can save up money to get one and his own place. He asked me to get an apartment with him a year ago, but I cant. Also in the summer he asked if he could stay at my house for a couple weeks because of issues with his parent, but never did. So it's not like this hasn't crossed his mind. I think he knows I love him, but trying to get his feeling out is like talking to a wall. I dont want to say my feelings if he doesn't feel the same way.
The even bigger problem is I have a boyfriend of 8 months. I do love him, but I love Dave a lot more and can't fully commit to my boyfriend until I know there is no hope for me and Dave. To put it in simple terms I can't wait forever for Dave, but Carl can't wait forever for me. I don't want to make any sudden moves and make a mistake. I don't know how to go about this or what to do. Either way I'm going to get hurt and so is someone else.
Mess, follow your head rather than your heart. If you cant commit to your BF because of Dave, then you need to walk away completely from both.
Dave's actions speak when he asks to move in together and after 4 years you both should know where 'it's' all going.
If you know you're going to get hurt either way, then you have no choice but to walk away. You can't hold yourself to ransom with these guys.
You have the right advice in the above post. Dave is never going to change. Even if you get together for life, he will never express his love for you and you will be left fretting and fuming. If Carl is not able to get you to take your mind off Dave, it means he is not good enough for you. Move on and find someone else.
Dave is not a BF - he is being mothered by you.
No car, no job? Can't afford an apartment? Breaks up for stupid reasons? You will be caretaking him, for sure, if you take him under your wing.
I don't know much about Carl, and you don't either. He doesn't seem that important to you.