Don't know what to do!!!!
Ok, so I've got a problem and I'm not quite sure how to deal with it. So I'm really good friends with one of my co-workers. Honestly though I like him more than just a friend and I want to tell him but I don't know how to tell him and I don't know if he feels the same way.He's really nice and funny, and pretty cute lol, we flirt a lot too. Like we hug all the time, and when we high five we end up holding hands and just looking at each other for a while. He always touches me too, simple stuff like he touches my neck and my arms. The first problem is that he's security so technically we can't pursue anything more than a friendship unless one of us decides to quit. The second problem is he is black and some important people in my life wouldn't approve of me dating him for that reason. Even though it doesn't bother me. Now the third issue is that I'm unsure if he has a gf still or not. The last I knew which was a very long time ago about 5-6 months ago he had a gf that was living out of state and she was very controlling. I don't want to ask him about it. Somebody please help me, I need advice I think I may be in love with him, and the only advice I've gotten from other chat rooms is to tell him by grabbing his d*** and s******. Please help!!!!
How is it that you two are so close - even letting him touch you - and you don\'t even know if he\'s available?
How can you call this \"love\"? now - you have not even gone out!! This sounds like a work thing going on.
What do you know about him?
You have three reasons to stop right now and end this flirtatious relationship. You need to really THINK about those three reasons and see if he is worth it - or he is a charming, funny guy who is paying alot of attention to you.
Honestly I can call it love, because I fell for his personality. He's nice to me, we talk all the time, I'm comfortable being myself around him, and I get butterflies when I know I'm going to see him that day. Yes there are three reasons to walk away, but the feelings I have for him give me a million reasons to stay and try to pursue something with him. Maybe I'm wrong, but I've never felt this way about any guy before. He's special and I have a large spot in my heart for him. He's always on my mind. I just want to know if the same feelings are there with him, if not I'll walk away no big deal. But until I know I'm going to keep trying.
If I were you I would just ask him if he still has a GF. If he says no then boom! you are in with a chance. Go out and have a drink with him, (you will not lose your job for that) get to know him before you give yourself to him. If you guys click, great! that way you can both weigh up what you have to lose and what you have to gain by staying with each other.
Where some of your friends may not 'approve' due to him being black, dont tell them until you are ready! And when you are ready to tell them, if they do decide to walk then who cares! You decided to tell them because you believed your relationship was strong and their reactions you had already anticipated beforehand.
I wish you all the best. Do keep us posted
Dear Countrygirl, love is not as simple as flirting and having some fun time. They are two different things. Love doesn't involve only touching and sharing jokes, you need to understand each other, about their likes, dislikes, way of thinking, who all are there in their lives that matter to them, does your thinking match up, can you both plan a future together etc.
In all respects from what you have told, it doesn't seem he is serious about you in anyway. He is just having some fun flirting with you and more likely will remain only at that.
Hi do not act on this. It will go pear shaped.
This is work...... not a place to invite advances.
Enjoy having someone nice in work to take the edge off..... it will fade and you just may end up having a great strong friendship....
I know it sounds boring to you now but believe me when I tell you don't go there ....... It will turn work life into a nightmare then you will have to leave.....
Countrygirl - Have you ever had a BF before? You sound like a very young girl smitten with her first love. You talk about "love" and you don't even know if he is available. You don't know him off work site.
How do you know you are "special" to him? He may be just an over friendly security man at your work.