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Guilty of jealousy

Posted by
JOHNNYARCHER
on Apr 10 2014 at 03:27
Member since: 10 April 2014
Emotional advice I'm with my first real girlfriend, or first girlfriend I've ever felt so strongly about. She has some friends I'm not so fond of, but generally get along with. One of them is a guy, and he has a friend, also a girl, who is dying of a heart condition. My girl friend is nice to everyone, and when she hugs him and comforts him, I feel a burning hatred for him. I always feel horrible afterwards, but the hatred remains. I do not know how to handle this.

Guilty of jealousy

Reply from
SUSIEDQQ
on Apr 10 2014 at 04:23
Member since: 27 December 2013
Why do you hate a person because your GF pays attention to him?

This shows that you are insecure and have a jealous mind.

This will cause you much pain - even more as you get older.

Jealousy is fear. What are you afraid of?

Guilty of jealousy

Reply from
JOHNNYARCHER
on Apr 10 2014 at 04:50
Member since: 10 April 2014
The guy who I am talking about has dated nearly every girl my girlfriend is friends with, and in reply to SUSIEDQ, I am afraid of losing her to him.

Guilty of jealousy

Reply from
MOUNTAIN
on Apr 10 2014 at 12:25
Member since: 24 February 2014
Hi I can see how this would make you feel that way you do.

This is about the big one TRUST......

You say this you first serious relationship?

what were you last relationships like? were they trust worthy .....were you?

This guy makes you feel small ? If you say anything you will look silly..... so that is not an option. Do not act upon these feelings...... stay with them and try to figure out why are they so strong..... I get the feeling that you relationship with this girl is not as affectionate? or equally so and you believe it should only be physical for you. Like you are sharing her....

This is an issue and you will seem unreasonable voicing this.......

Your fear of loosing her anyways and this scene you see of your girl and her friend is intensified by that fear.

Imagine you doing the same to your female friend? isn't it harmless ? visualized that and capture what it feels like. Try and create some distance between this scene and your negative thoughts surrounding it.

You need to change your thinking around this, the next time you see this happening in front of you.... look at him and see it for what it is a mate..... you are the one she is with.... not him.

If she does run off with him them you had a lucky escape ....... right .

Another thing you said is your girl is friendly to everyone..... so this is not just him....

Bottom line .... you feel out of control here.... which reflects that you need to find control somewhere.... the only place you can control and say over is you..... let go of hatred it is no good for anybody. Use this experience to learn from .....

If you express that anger to him or her, I can guarantee you will lose her.....

You are better then this....... do not go down that road.....

I suggest you fill your life with more people, join a group, sports, music, how about getting all that bent up emotion out,,,,,, do you write? find out who you are and most importantly enjoy doing it.

You need to put some space between you and this situation. give it a week and reevaluate where you are at then. you feeling s will begin to change about this when you step back.

The fact that you are writing here instead of acting out, says there is more right with you than wrong with you..... build on this positive step....

Be kinder to yourself.....

Make your life bigger then this relationship..... it will not work otherwise...... you already have the first sign something is wrong with you.... step away..... is there an adult you can talk to?

You need to have people in your life that make you laugh, share interests..... go find them they will only enhance any relationship you are in...... you seem alone here in this group... bring your own group to the table....

If you cannot do that then maybe your focus should be on making friends and not on a relationship.... it just may be that you are not ready for that intimacy yet....

Look after yourself .......

Guilty of jealousy

Reply from
MOUNTAIN
on Apr 10 2014 at 12:43
Member since: 24 February 2014
Good luck .....

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