Hi everyone, I'm Ruth..aka Ruthy, I am 25. I am a christian, well I grew up in a christian home with christian values and I generally lived a good moral life. about 3 years ago i met this really nice christian guy. We started talking, then i started visiting him at home and well we ended up having sex...since then we have been having sex. we are not in a relationship. when we are alone together he makes promises to me but in public will never admit we have anything not even to a small extent..i think he's ashamed of me and wants to keep his options open. It hurts because I gave him everything that was dear to me and he knows it all was but wont commit at all. I think I am actually in love with him and i kept thinking if i kept having sex with him when he wanted he'll grow to love me, I am beginning to think I was very very wrong. I don't know what to do. Please help!
Ruth, it doesn't matter if we share the same morals and standards when we connect with a partner, we still need to be respected for who we are.
You're correct when you state that you were very very wrong, because you most certainly are.
This guy, regardless if he is a 'christian', is using you for his own needs and in the process is damaging you to the extent of confusion and misery. I'm sorry, but he doesn't love you and never will commit to you because he would have done so by now if he was a genuine person with genuine feelings and respect for you.
Have a look in the mirror and ask yourself what you have gained from your relationship with this guy and then compare that to what your christian upbringing has taught you to expect from a true relationship. Step back and assess yourself and your own actions here as well.
Really nice christian guy?..I think not Ruth.
Thanks Manalone..i've been doing some thinking lately and I realised I was wrong, however I feel trapped in a sense because I gave him my body and i feel like now if i have to move on I will really and truly have nothing to offer my husband'. this guy rally took a lot from me, I literally did..do anything for him but he cant seem to see that, he seems to see more of the negative things.
Ruthy, I think if you made a list of his qualities, you will find your answer.
The fact that you two have a physical relationship and he will not even acknowledge you in public is very telling.
He does not act in a christian way. He does not respect or honor you. And you are not demanding that he treat you in a christian way, either.
I know how it feels to give your body to a man who wont love you but you have to move on a let him go. Be powerful as a woman and stand up for yourself. Let him go, delete his number, avoid him at all costs. It will make you cry and make you feel like you have lost everything but soon you will grow from it and God will give you the strength to find yourself and your own happiness. I have found myself crying in the shower on the floor about a man and I realized I needed to pray and God have me the strength to let them go. Let them go and give your problems to God. Your virginity is a lot but soon you will realize that your heart and soul and emotional well being are worth more than a hymen that is intact. This man will not respect you because he never respected you to begin with. Sex does not make a man fall in love. You cannot make a man fall in love no Matter what you do. god will send you the right one one day. You just do what's best for you and that is to end things with this man. Let him go, delete his number, avoid him at all costs even if u have to change numbers. It will help I promise.