I am 15 years old and my parents are getting a divorce. My dad is a great person and he looked at porn a couple times which made my mom want ot get a divorce, after 15 years. I would think you either do it early to spare the child, or wait untill they are in college, but my mom thought i would be grea to do it when we were teenagers ( It's still in progress). My mom got a job, and her boss decided to play office matchmaker, so she's met 2 guys: 1 that didnt click and one that she fucked on the first date("whore"). she denies this but my fragile family all knows what happens. my mother is constantly lying to me and my family to spare herself from herself. my mother and I frequently go out on saturdays, becuase if i dont, quote on quote, " I'll be forced to make other plans" ( fuck her boyfriend). in a side note, me and my dad are not legally separated yet. there is constant fighting in the house, and my mom spinning her web of lies. On one of those saturday nights, on asking why she would keep me ( i would like to leave to live with my dad when this is all over), she responded with, " I would rather have you kept clean and fed, as opposed to your happiness." I;ve had to really care for myself last couple of months anyway. when i look into the future, or look at the past, or even think, i think about how bad life is, and i frequently think about how llife would be without me, and if i was dead. i think about self harm, but couldn't do it. something could push me over the edge. any idea on how to deal with this bullshit? it's a day into spring break and i already wish i was back in school. sincerely, Bucky.
I am sorry that you are being dragged into the middle of all this. It sounds like they really do need to be apart.
Now . . . here's some "don'ts.'
Don't dwell on this. Keep yourself busy and detach from all this craziness. Don't talk about where you are going to live right now. Don't provoke them. They will lash out at you because they are under great stress. Don't judge your mom's behavior. she sounds very unhappy and is acting out for attention.
Here's some "Do's" - join some clubs or do something that gets you out of the house. Do understand that this is not your fault and you are not going to solve it or make things better. Do understand that they have a bad marriage and it's best now to end it. Do know that you have a lot of living to do and should take care of yourself so you can enjoy it. Do know that you are not the first kid to go through this and DO find another sane adult to talk this over.
Good luck. You will get thru this!!
I'm sorry that this has to happen to you at such a young age. Divorce is never easy for any part of the family, and especially when you are finding yourself this "monkey in the middle."
The best thing to do is sit down with Both your parents, and have a long talk with them about your feelings of Everything you are feeling. It can be Anything from soup to nuts, dealing with things like Who you would Prefer to live with, just anything that you need to spill your guts Out about. They need to hear from their "little town crier," and perhaps some compromise can be made, where it just Might make some of the legalities a bit more "civilized" to deal with.
Don't do anything silly, Think like an adult, Bucky. You are not the only One who has to go through this. And I am sure it won't be a "Spring break" for mom and pop either. You need to All pull together like a family, and they need to see that You are Important too, not just to be "kept clean and fed," either.
And might I add, please, don't take sides, whatever you do. Stay neutral with both. Just because you are stuck in the midst of it all, doesn't mean you have to stand for all the "monkey business" too.
Hi Bucky, First of all id just like to say I understand its not nice being stuck in the middle of this and I can sense your very angry about it all but you should understand this is THIER relationship and if they feel it aint working then they have the right to end it and should do so. Doesnt mean they love u any less, its actually not about you at all, thier decisions effect you yes but its not about you its about them. There is no 'right or wrong' time for a divorce life is not that simple you are 15 not a small child u should understand that by now. Also calling your mum names like that wont help anyone and I hardly think in 15 years she sleeps with 2 different ppl makes her a whore? I dont think so, if she has seperated from ur dad then her sexual life is her buissness not yours n again u might not like it but she is her own person and an adult its up to her. Also I dont understand the problem about Sat, she chooses to spend it with you rather than other plans (which could be anything dont assume) if she was so bad why would she even bother to spend them with you? Also if u were dead im quite sure they wud both be devastated life seems bad as ur stuck in the middle of it but u have ur own life to lead I know its hard (Ive been thru it myself) but in the end if they aint happy together then they need to seperate and you have to accept that. There will be alot of changes and it will be hard just try to talk to them about how u feel they both still love you. Good luck.