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I need your help to save my relationship

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Emotional advice Hey
I'm student from Turkey and I'm sixteen.So my boyfriend and I broke up a month ago.It was our mutual decision.Our relationship was really different.We loved each other but we weren't meant to be.We were totally different.We had nothing to talk about but we loved each other.In fact, after we broke up I said i love him and he said '' I love you but we have to deal with this''.I was totally sure about his feelings.He loved me too.

Now here is my problem.It has been a month but it still hurts so much.I want to know if he's feeling the way that I'm feeling.His behavior is just confusing.I don't know what to do.Let me give you some examples.We're in the same class.Two weeks ago he called his friend by my name.I ignored that.Last week he was talking to the class but he was always glancing at me.He was trying not to look at me.I could understand that.And about a week ago he was talking to his friend and I was listening to him but he didn't know that.Anyway he said ''I'm going to have a haircut because that's what guys do when they get depressed.'' his friend asked him the reason of his depression and he said ''you know the reason buddy , She's always on my mind at the nights''
I thought he was talking about me but there's an another girl he likes and she's in our class too.Maybe he was talking about her because they were really close .I wasn't sure about the person he was talking about.My friends said it was me but I'm not sure.
This was the situation.But today suddenly everything has changed.I guess he is going to date somebody else.He's talking to an another girl.And today when we were at school and I didn't see him looking at me.He was so happy.Did he get over me ? Also there's something else.He loves listening to Eminem.So his whatsapp statu is ''I'm afraid If I close my eyes I might see her'' . I searched this sentence.It was a part of a song of Eminem called ''Going through changes''.I checked the lyrics and let me show you a part of the lyrics

''I think about the things I would have never got to say to you,
I'd never get to make it right, so here's what I came to do.
Hailie this one is for you, Whitney and Alaina too,
I still love your mother, that'll never change,
Think about her every day, we just could never get it together.
Hey, wish there was a better way, for me to say it,
But I swear on everything, I'd do anything for her on any day.
There are just too many things, to explain, when it rains,
Guess it pours, yes it does, wish there wasn't any pain.
But I can't pretend there ain't, I ain't placin' any blame,
I ain't pointin' fingers, heaven knows i've never been a saint.
I know it just feels like we just pissed away our history,
But just today, I looked at your picture, almost if to say,
I miss you self consciously, wish it didn't end this way.
But I just had to get away, don't know why,
I don't know what else to say, I guess I'm..''


So what do you say ? Is he over me ? Does this song mean anything ? or Am I being paranoid ? my friends say '' It's just a song he likes. It's not something about you it has been a month he is already over you'' Are they right ? And If they are right what am I supposed to do ? I don't want to forget about him.But I guess it's impossible to get him back.Please help me I really need your help.

I need your help to save my relationship

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Hey Sebnemnur,

Sorry to hear about your troubles; I can understand how troubling it might be, and I want you to know that things will get better as you grow older. You're young and beautiful, sixteen years of age. You have lots of life left to experience. Lots of people left to meet. ♥

I just had one question - how long were you and your boyfriend together before you broke up a month ago?

If you weren't together for a very long time, such as less than a month or a month or two, I don't think you have to worry about it. In your beginning paragraph you mention the fact that you are both totally different and aren't meant to be. I think that's the answer to your problem right there.

I think if he's getting closer to another girl, it's either to try and forget about what you both had or to simply get closer to the other girl and maybe start a relationship. Unfortunately this happens a lot. Perhaps he's trying to make you jealous though. I cannot thoroughly say.

If you two were so close before and the separation was mutual, why not speak to him directly? Ask him how he feels after a month of not being together. If you two love each other or if you still love him, there must still be something within you that will prod you in that direction. Talk to him. Pull him aside in the hallway even for a second. Ask him directly, no playing games or being subtle like we girls sometimes are. Guys need to hear things directly to the point and don't usually get signals or hints in conversation. We need to talk to them and say exactly what we need them to hear.

Ask him. How are you feeling about us after a month not together? Do you still feel the same way about me? I still like you, and I don't want us to be completely isolated from each other. Some contact would still be nice. I understand if you do not feel the same way as you did, or don't feel the same way as I do. I respect your feelings. If you don't feel like things are going to work out, that we aren't dealing properly with this, then I will respectfully back away and stay your friend.

Just things like that. I hope that at least a little of this helped! Please take care of yourself, and never forget. There are plenty of fish in the sea and although he may seem like the right guy for you and it's hard to let go, if you take away the negativity in your life and the conflicted emotions you have for him, things will eventually get better as you go. Thank you for asking such a direct and thorough question. ♥

-Seco

I need your help to save my relationship

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Sweet Sebnemnur,
"Breaking up is hard to do," as the song goes...and how true it is. However, just because two people split, doesn't mean their heart is mended over nite and----Both of you are "already over" one another. That couldn't be further from the truth.
Whatever girl is in his life or Was in his life, she is probably this "Rebound Rebecca," and most likely it means nothing. His thoughts are probably Still on "pissed away our history,"
and "I miss you self consciously, wish it didn't end this way."
Great song, and Only YOU can read between the lines, never mind what your blind sided friends may think or say.
No, I don't believe he is "already over you." It could be 10 years from now, and he could Still be in love with you. So, No, you are Not being "paranoid" at all, sweetie, but you are "procrastinating..."
Never say Something you want to have and Crave to achieve is "impossible." If you put your whole heart and soul into it, you can make your dreams come true...Or at least work your butt off Trying.
Contact him and ask to have a serious talk. Tell him you have been doing some soul searching for the past month, and blurt out: "I think about the things I would have never got to say to you...."
No, it's "Never Over" until the fat lady sings, and from what Eminem is singing And saying Here is: "....I'd never get to make it right, so here's what I came to do."
Good luck.xx

I need your help to save my relationship

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Dear Seco and pars11 ;
First of all ; we were together for a month.We both didn't want to break up but just like I said we had to .I thought he would come back but I don't think that it's going to happen.Well, you want me to talk to him but I just can't.Because I'm sure that we're totally over on his mind there's no chance.But you know just because we can't be together doesn't mean we don't love each other.I just want him to come back to me but I guess he won't.
Today I was at school and nothing happened.He used to look at me while he was talking but today he didn't.He was so happy.He used to stay away from me because it was bothering
for him but now he doesn't care being around me.He doesn't care about me anymore.He is ignoring me.And just like i said I can't tell him about my feelings it doesn't work.I know I have to let him go but I can't.It's so hard to see him everyday in class.It's so hard to hear his laugh.I don't know how to bring him back.And he isn't talking to the girl anymore.You were right she was just a rebound rebecca.But it seems he's ready to start with someone new.But I want him to remember what we had what we've been through.Should I Stay away from him ? should I try to get his attention ? I'm so confused.All I know is I love him and I can't stand the idea of being away from him.Even if he has forgotten about me is there any chance to have him love me again ?

Thanks for your help :)

I need your help to save my relationship

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You say you are confused. Well, he is too.

How do you expect him to understand when you both AGREED to break up?

Guys don't understand it when girls say no and mean yes.

You are giving him mixed messages. Either be straight with him and move on, like you said and agreed upon, or change your mind and make it work.

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

B-2