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Am I over reacting

Posted by
GEORDIE33
on Apr 15 2014 at 13:14
Member since: 15 April 2014
Relationship advice Hello all I am looking for abit of advice or guidance really as I am at a junction and I don't know what way to turn. In a nutshell I have been with my partner for 14 yr and we have had our fair share of problems with fault on both sides but we have always just stuck it out and got on with it. But now I am beginning to question just how selfish this man really is. Or am I just over reacting. Last week my Granda who is like a dad to me got rushed into hospital with kidney and heart failure and was on lifesupport. So going the hospital everyday he started to feel left out we ended up having quite a nasty argument and I left to go the hospital. Whilst at hospital the doctor came to tell us that he only had 48 hours to live which devastated me told my partner and all he said was am sorry to hear that and went on to talk about us breaking up. I sat upstairs all day and night on my own and sobbing whilst he sat down stairs and did nothing. What do I do to me this is a sorry excuse for a partner and way below the belt. Any advice welcome thank you in advance
Am I over reacting
Reply from
SUSIEDQQ
on Apr 15 2014 at 14:09
Member since: 27 December 2013
Some men feel useless around sickness and death and go into this "avoidance" role where they just fade away. And just when you need him!!

You may feel that he is a jerk now, but . . .

how did this morph into breaking up?

(Did he think "Gee she's mad. Maybe I should just leave"?)

This is a very stressful time. Make no decisions now.

Am I over reacting
Reply from
GEORDIE33
on Apr 15 2014 at 15:02
Member since: 15 April 2014
Thank u for Ur response.

I do understand your point that some people don't know how to deal or approach some situations like this but having said that seeing the state I was in I don't think a stranger would have passed me and left me on my own. As for the leaving me part he tells me at least once a week he doesn't want to be with me and to take the hint but then next day he says he loves me. Don't get me wrong I can hold me own but really don't know what to do.

Regards claire

Am I over reacting
Reply from
SHIVANGI
on Apr 16 2014 at 08:23
Member since: 24 April 2014
I am sorry to hear about your Granddad. But these things are part and parcel of life. At some point of time they do need to leave us and go away. All their lives they have done lots for us. Now they are tired and need to rest. But they will still be with us even after they go!

As for your partner, I feel its probably not selfishness that has him behave this way. I agree that what he did was stupid(but some men can be that way when emotional turmoil takes place). But it more looks to me that he is so emotionally dependent on you that he is fighting a war within himself. One one side you were busy with the hospital trips and he was feeling left out. Must have been getting him to realize that he is so dependent on you, which he might not be liking. On one side he wants you beside him and on the other wants to be more independent of you. He is probably feeling nasty for thinking this way and hence negativity is flowing out of him. Also he probably he hadn't realized the closeness you felt for your Granddad.

What you can probably do is just leave him alone to get his thoughts straight. Let him realize what is it that he wants to do with the relationship. Give him a time frame to think well and then both sit down and decide what you both want to do. Tell him once a week condition and taking hint and all is just nonsense and is not acceptable to you. If possible stay away from him for few days so that you both have a clearer picture of what you both want to do.

Am I over reacting
Reply from
GRATEFULINSCV
on Apr 19 2014 at 20:28
Member since: 19 April 2014
GEORDIE33, It sounds to me like there are some much deeper issues than his supposed aloof reaction to your grandfathers sickness. I work as a Strategic Intervention Coach and I would love to have a session or two with you to get to the heart of the real issue, show you ways to change it in a snap, and how to bring passion back to your life! It is my passion to help people fill their GAP...GratitudeAbundancePassion!!

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