He is staying all day long in the chat room
Hi everyone, I am so damn confused that I will appreciate every idea how to change things. I met a guy online, maybe a month ago or a little bit more, we got emotionally close very soon, we talked every evening after work...he is even planning to travel very long distance to see me very soon, talking about marriage and children... And then the surprise, he has almost no time to talk with me for days. I know his work is extremely demanding but at the same time, I can see his profile active almost regularly and that drives me crazy. I already deleted my profile long time ago and I can not understand the situation- if he is in love with somebody else, wouldn't it be better to tell me the truth? Should I ask him what is going on? He is very open-minded and values highly his private life and says , at the same time, to be monogamous, which I strongly believe. I just feel stupid- how could he have time for online chat 3-4 times a day and no time for me
Something is wrong...
Hi Social media is like that it can make you feel good, give you a buzz and it instantly gratifies.
He sounds like he got pulled in by someone else.
It was not real, you feelings were being manipulated by a computer relationship, it felt good because it did not have the demands of real life.
I think this guy is like that and a relationship with him would be the same.
Learn form this and do not get pulled in by this media relationship again.
Something is wrong - FOR SURE!!
You have "fallen in love" and are talking marriage and kids with a man you have not met, and the only way you know him is ON LINE? Only over a month's time?
This is unbelieveable!! Where is your reality check?
He has worked you over and has moved on. That's what these guys do. The chase is all they want.
Get off the computer and into the real world and meet a nice man.
Online person is pretty different from the real person. Never form such strong emotions only based on the character displayed online. You should have been his first priority but its not so. So yes something is very wrong.
Not that i am defending myself, but just in order to explain things -we are talking on the phone just because we live so far away. And we planned to see each other very soon. but everything seems different now. Maybe I am going to ask him ...but ask what? are you in love with another woman? what are you waiting for in the chat ?I can not ask that...he is really not a womanizer but maybe something happened. i just want the truth without being jealous, i am just so insecure...
Hi How you are feeling right now is all playing into the game!!!!
You have become a stalker....and possessive, looking for him to tell you what you want to hear..... because you are getting withdrawals from your new addiction- him and social media and the whole fantasy that comes with it.
This is about you..... you feel rejected.
But he is not real. I think this experience has just highlighted that you are lonely. He was a distraction and the talk of marriage kids played right into your dream.
You believed it was real and possible..... learn the lesson.
Put value on yourself, and meet someone in the real world , online dating can be fun for some ... but I get the impression that you are not that sort of person, you have to have a thick skin.
Put this down to a bad experience , he has issues.
I am not sure which one of you moved too fast , here. How did it play out. You talked online and gave your number out to a stranger.... you got attached before you even met.
Who initiated you to delete account?
Was that your idea? or his ? He could possible think he got you offline, on phone , and off the site.... chase over for him.... that is it.
It is a process of elimination.
Do not let him continue to make you feel stupid, you fell for a guy, think about it this other girl is getting the same treatment and then he will move on again.
He may have intimacy issues of all kinds better off out. Also it does sound to me that he needed to feel important, alot of people online just want attention and validation of their attractiveness, some are driven by the ego, and the choice available makes them picky, like their is always a better profile.
Move on from this and I think this experience has hurt you, don't let it ruin the next guy you meet. Spend time on your own or with friends, build that confidence again. It is his loss you sound lovely, some people are just too good natured for online meeting/ dating. Do not let this man take up anymore of your time up.
yes, I understand my behavior is possessive and not healthy for me and i stopped it maybe after a day or two- it makes me sick to check whether he is online or not, so I just stopped with that. And it is not my thing to open a fake account, I deleted my because I wanted to, never talked about that with him.
It is also exactly the way you say with my dreams about family and kids- he just hit the spot ...but isn't it the same way with real relationships- everyone has an imaginary picture of his partner in his head, everyone has dreams and wishes and they are why people get together. Isn't the way we feel that make us attached and willing to be with somebody? Everything is imaginary, our whole lives are full of assumptions and plans that never happen. I understand it's risky, he could be cheating, he could be everything- I just hope I can talk to him, explain him that i am not playing. It sounds crazy, i know. I really don't want to give up on him for now but, at the same time, it hurts too much. I can not just ask him why is he chatting with other women. Any suggestions? what should I ask, how to talk to him about that...
My dear, we are all in the same place with the hectic and reluctant new human connection patterns.
I believe that you deeply know that whatever happened, whatever talks you two had is nothing real! though, out of certain need ( conscious and unconscious) we tend to fall for a indigent beliefs.
i know you have needs, and yes it is pretty comfortable to think out loud with someone and get all your wished, dreams, ideas up to the surface without being physically involved.
yet the surface in here is virtual! he said that he'd come... did he!!
at the beginning of the story he was giving you all the time...now he's fading
dear, don't leave yourself there! there was no bound, there was nothing real! change the scenario for the sake of whatever beauty you felt and whatever grief you feel
consider the virtual relationship in all its terms as a book! a story in which you found pieces of your own puzzle or inspiration and remember not everything we read is real!
or even think of it as an euphoric love song that altered your senses, you enjoyed it but its not valid enough to alter your life!
be brave, i have been there so many time!! and my stories are seriously hilarious....
for you now CUT IT OFF! don't stop and stare! step over and dare to get what is real
You are STILL not accepting that this could be all a fantasy. He talked to you about things you wanted to hear. Then after you were "hooked" he cut you off.
If you REALLY want to pursue this and find out for sure, INSIST that you meet in person. OR you will cut it off.
That will tell you whether or not this is even real.
Let us know . . .
It's true, i believe it can become real. he didn't cut me off totally- just for a couple of days. I think we will meet, hope at least, the original plan was for the beginning of next month... the plan is still up to date.It will be OK if he says "no, you are not the girl for me" but it's not OK to say nothing. It's crazy, i know. thank you everyone for pointing me out what the real problem was- the online part.