Should I end it?
hi, well ive been with my partner on and off for over a year. After 3 months together we had an unplanned pregnancy to deal with, and now have a baby boy. But while i was pregnant the relationship between me and my partner started to go downhill. I was constantly tired and he couldnt understand how i felt and took it personal. then we started arguing alot especially as he wanted us to live together but when it came down to it he changed his mind the day before we were supposed to move in, so i moved in to the flat on my own. He was then diagnosed with depression and was signed off work for a few months in which time we hardly saw or spoke to each other. he then got suicidal and would send texts saying he was sorry for everything and that id be better off without him, although he didnt carry out taking his own life the doctor said they were just cries for help and that he was doing it because he knew it would get everyones attention. i tried to help him as much as i could while he was going through his phases even though i couldn't fully understand what was going on in his head. we stayed together but took time apart from seeing each other as he felt it was best whilst he was sorting himself out. we'd talk every few days but not for long. in this time he started to go out with his friends more and more and the one night he kissed another girl (one of his best mates friends) He didnt tell me that he had kissed another person i found out when i saw the pictures he had posted on his Myspace page. when i confronted him about it he didnt really say much part from the usual excuses of being drunk etc. we decided to try and make it work but to be honest i lost all my trust in him as well as having all the raving hormones of pregnancy i got very insecure and kept asking him questions. it got to a point where i logged on to his myspace page and read the messages they had been sending each other. which caused more arguments because he'd kept more stuff from me. I eventually got over his fling after a few months of me constantly asking questions of whether it had ended and if he had spoken to her. I still dont trust him and i found out that he had been lying to me about other things aswell like his debt and having his car insurance claim nulled (he took the baby out in an uninsured car and lied to me sayin it was insured. untill i found the letter sayin that they had cancelled it) So i now cant tell whether his lyin to me or not and i dont know if i can believe what he says, i have told him that im unhappy in the relationship and that things need to change if we want to make it work. his admitted that his unhappy in the relationship aswell and that he wants the arguing to stop. we have decided to try and make it work, but i cant have a conversation with him as he just sits there with a blank expression on his face, he just doesnt diverse in a conversation he just sits there and says i dont know or i dont know what to say. it just drives me mad. theres no physical relationship we havent hugged kissed or had sex in months. Is there any point in trying to make it work? should i just give up and end it now as he dont make any effort in trying to change things? or should i just give it a couple of more weeks to see if it improves? im not bothered about being a single mum im doing it all on my own now as he doesnt bother coming round unless it suits him. What should i do? and please answer honestly.
Firstly- congrats on your baby!
Secondly- you need to tell the baby father that he is always welcome in your life as the babys father, but that you need a man that will provide emotional, physical, and financial support and that if he cant do these things then he has to go!
I feel so sorry for you because it sounds like he has 2 lives: the fun, go out drinking, girls, facebook life. then you: the paranoid baby mother!
you need to stop being that person he has made you, because without him your happiness will return, you can make your own plans and fun and not be feeling sick inside with the pain that he would rather be out than with you. tell him to leave, take a break, you need to be a strong person for your kid, dont let him wear you down!