Has he been to strip clubs
My husband said a name of a strip club after we were watching a programme on tv and I wondered how he knew the name of it. He said he had been watching top gear and they went to a club and that what was it was called. He went to one called pussey galores years ago which he denies but I know he did because he went with quite afew work male colleagues and he as always said he went back to the hotel because he had a headache but it was just a lie to fool me. I know he likes women because even in front of me he as stared at them then denied that he did. No respect for me being with him whatsoever. Now im wondering who the hell I am married to and what else is he keeping from me and what other lies he as told me. When I think we are getting on fine and all is well and he says he only wants me he comes out with the name of tbe strip club and all the trust and everything as gone and I wonder if to stay with someone who could always be lying to me
I don't think the fact that he can name a strip club is a very strong argument to suggest he has actually been to that one. He very well could have been, but he could have very well heard of it off top gear too. There is really no way to get an accurate conclusion from that. However I think the fact that he names and strip club and "All trust is gone" Sounds rather silly to me and overly suspicious.
With him going to the strip club with his colleagues that may be true, depending off if any of his colleagues told you or something and there is solid proof for that.
As for him eye'ing girls the same can be said, sometimes you can perceive him looking at a girl when he's not. Although if you notice him eye'ing girls randomly for seemingly no reason you on a rather consistent basis then yeah he probably is. But there is still no definite way to know that is the actual case.
So what you have is a bunch of circumstantial evidence which may or may not be true. But assuming it is true, he obviously should not be lying to in most of any cases. But if he did mention those to you and there were true you'd be angry nevertheless, so either way it's a problem. Eitherway, he is still with you rather than any other one of these girls, so there must be a reason he sticks around.
His actions indicate he likes physical aspects of girls, with that in mind. Do you two have a lot of sex? Is he very physical a lot of the time? (kissing, hugging etc) Following up from that does he care about your feelings? Does he put an effort in not to hurt you or fix problems in the relationship? If he does put effort in then he probably actually loves you for you are and is less likely to be lying about major things. If you two have a lot of physical affection that could indicate he's only around for you body rather than you if he doesn't put any effort into your feelings in the relationship or fixing problems within the relationship.
^^^ I digress a bit
However back to the point at hand I don't think these potentially little lies add up to him telling you a bunch of harmful lies. I wouldn't assume that he is until you have some proof he may be doing that, since he *could* be doesn't mean he is.
And if he keeps looking at girls point it out when he does it, and if he still keeps doing it have a serious talk about it with him. If he still continues say that you're going to consider break up because you're not happy in the relationship. He should stop then if he truly loves you.
Let's say that your worst fears are true. He goes to strip clubs and looks at other woman. It doesn't mean that he is cheating. A real man can look at other woman and it stops there!!! This depends on the lines you have drawn for your relationship. He is human. If a gorgeous man comes into a room are you telling me that you won't look?
Being all that said, I will say this is...This is the day and age of surveillance, private detectives, & hidden cameras. You don't have to wonder.
hi I hear you..... My ex was the same he went to ten stags or more in the space of a few year and I knew he was going to stripe clubs.... I know the bunch of lads are pervs and into all that .
It bothered me deeply, its someones child, mother, sister, it just is creepy in this day and age for women to let the side down. I do think it is a form of cheating they do give private dances too. I used to be up all night in a state feeling humiliated and out of control over this. ( It was a deal breaker for me I just could not prove it).
I left and that was many years ago, but after we met a few months after break up to sort take name off insurance stuff.... we got on fine I asked him 'now that we are split up you can be honest... in all those stags did you go to strip clubs? and he laughed and said yes. ( He lied everytime... while I cried). I laughed to myself with relief , relief that I was no longer in that place of no self worth, lied to, worrying,neglected, ignored. My gut instinct was correct all along, at times I thought I was going crazy. It hurts so bad and cuts so deep for me personally, it seedy.
My point being curiosity (going once)is one thing, we all can be curious and that can be moved passed.
But I do think it is a certain type of man that likes that kind of thing, low IQ's ,objectifying women. I personally rather a night in with the girls laughing, life is just a hell of a lot simpler no inner turmoil. At the end of the day he was not meeting my needs, we were not right for one another.