Hi my name is Lila, nice to meet to you..
I'm contacting you because I think I have problems..and I'm seeking for advices.
My boyfriend and I recently started going out and we make 3 months now. But the problem for me is his (Bm) BABY MOMMA DRAMA knowing that I, myself is a very very jealous person and I cannot deal with competition over that. He has a 5 year old daughter and he told me last year his Bm barely started to let him take his daughter out with him sometimes when he's free. It's just all the time he's texting and talking to her on the phone and I completely understand it's about their daughter and they each have their part... But I get so mad and jealous in the inside I can't even tell him all the time when I'm by him every time they hang up the phone. Him and I really really like each other and we talk about our relationships sometimes to see where we going if it's still working out... Yes of course it is I really like him enough for our heart to say we love each other which we did mention that a few weeks ago. It's like a connection between me and him...unexplainable but amazing feeling. When I'm alone with him I feel like it's just me and him against the world but then reality hit me at the end when I sleep because before I go to sleep at night I reflect about life and everything. It's just I don't know... This guy really understands me and he knows what to say or do to make me smile, the way we play around, when he makes me mad over the littlest things makes us stronger, the way he looks at me in the eyes, it's just our bond! I really love it. I could say more, but this will never end. Do I sound like I'm in love, or am I? We'll see. But yeah I'm quite a jealous person and it takes a lot for me to tell him that I'm jealous whenever he talks to his Bm, when he sees her every time he drops/picks up his daughter, this snap chatting app that I saw last time on his phone with her, how he still have a whole bunch pictures of her and his daughter together on his phone (I think that's wrong and should be deleted if you have a new girl and still have pictures of your ex!!!!!), or when she calls him all the damn time, text after text about their daughter .. Or maybe not I don't know...makes me wonder..wonder and having second thoughts which I shouldn't because if I like him then I should trust him... I don't know it's just me. I'm a complicated girl. I hate expressing my feelings I just want him to know just by looking at me...how miserable I feel inside. I get nervous to tell him and when he asks what's wrong no words come out because it's so hard for me. I get so angry that I don't know what's wrong with me sometimes. I know he really likes me and he does show it but all the time something or SOMEONE has to come our way to make me jealous. Also there's no other words I can describe when I see him and his daughter bond, it's just so cute. He really loves her with all his heart. And it will always be his daughter before me..... But it also makes me think that he has once already started a family, and his Bm will always be right there no matter where he goes she will always be apart of his life and that's something I can't do nothing about & I don't think I can handle knowing that I can't deal with jealousy and competition. I cry myself to sleep at night not only because of relationships but my life altogether it's messed up. I mess everything up. I'm afraid in the inside but determined on the outside. Any advices on what I should do? Say? Anything? :/