Father in law problems. Help please!!!!
I could really use some advice PLEASE!!!!! I dont know if im wrong or how to deal with this situation.
Im 23 years old I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years, We bought a house and have 2 kids! Our relationship has been solid up until now. My boyfriend has always been a daddies boy which was fine to me, his dad is single and doesnt have a lot of friends but he does EVERYTHING WITH HIM!! lol.. So the summer of 2012 his dad lost his job! He had a REALLY good paying job and he did EVERYTHING for my boyfriend money wise. Well by jan 2013 his dad lost his house! I had just had my 2nd daughter had her room decorated and my boyfriend told me his dad was going to stay with us! I said that was fine! its your dad he has no where else to go and I dont mind helping him out!! WELL it has turned into a nightmare for me! His dad DOES NOT pick up after hisself, I gave him my babys room and its a mess!!! He is the only one to use the main restroom and does not clean it! I feel like I have to do EVERYTHING or it will not get done! Ive told my boyfriend plenty of times im not his maid and im not going to baby him and do EVERYTHING for him like he is used to everyone else does for him! He says he tells his dad but I dont think he has and I keep my mouth shut because his dad is impossible to talk to he gets mad and offensive when you address things with him and he is the type to be right about everything!! SO the bigger problem is he is not looking for a job and does not help with any of the bills, I feel so uncomforable in my own home because he hogs the living room 24/7 and does not go anywhere, I would love to come home and have peace and relax but I cant, I dont have my own space im sharing a room with my little one! to top it off his uncle asked to stay with us for 3 weeks and 3 weeks turned into 6 months he has taken over my oldest room! So im fed up i feel myself falling in depression because of my living situation and I know his dad expects to live with us and not go anywhere, since it has been a 1 year in a half I decided to talk to my boyfriend and let him know how I feel and see if he agrees with talking to his dad and tell him we are willing to help you out but this cannot be permanet! He told me im telling him to choose between him and his dad and he will let him stay as long as he needs to!! Im not making him choose, I just cant live like this I want my own little family back, I have to inlcude his dad in everything!! thats bigger meals, more money to go out to eat, his feelings get hurt if we go some where with out him, if we go out he waits up for us until we get home! Am i being realistic or selfish? How can I make the best of this situation when I feel like the only option I have is to leave because my house is takin over by his father and my relationship has fallen and im being pushed away? Its just too much!! I try to discipline my kids and his dad ALWAYS has something to say and babys them and I think he feels to have a right to try and discipline them the way he wants to because he is with them a lot because he watches them for a few hrs when they are out of school! Ill tell my kids something and he questions them with what I told them to do! BIG PROBLEM with me not with my boyfriend! ALSO my sex life has gone down the drain lol the living room is next to our room you can hear everything and I refuse to get it on with his dad in the next room and the baby in the room!! COME ON!! lol.. to me I see this situation as he doesnt know how to have his own family and include his dad sometimes not 24/7 shouldnt there be a line to draw? I feel like he puts his dad on this petal stool and I have no say in anything when it comes to him and it hurts my feeling soo much! This is a guy I want to spend the rest of my life with he is a great dad! any advice????????????? Do i suck it up and deal with it? I JUST DONT KNOW!!!!!!!