Does he enjoy hurting me?

Posted by
SAFAIA
on May 3 2014 at 15:30
Member since: 03 May 2014
Emotional advice forum category advice forum category I'm going to start off saying that I'm in highschool. So for the past couple of months I've been talking to this guy, and its been all good until about 3 weeks ago. We went from talking everyday, to talking less and getting into small arguements. Then it got to the point where we would be perfectly fine one day, and not talking the next. He told me he liked me, and that he cared for me, yet he would always be flirting with someone. The fighting was getting more and more frequent, and we our conversations were getting shorter per day. On Monday we got into a fight, he thought I was speaking bad about him and didn't exactly want to hear me out. Now I wasn't speaking bad about him, I was just speaking about him. So he then told me to not talk to him anymore. We didn't talk for the rest of the day on Monday. On Tuesday he started to flirt hardcore with a girl he told me he thought was nasty. Wednesday, I told my friend what had happened and she ended up telling him. I asked her what he said and she said that his reply was, "I know I hurt her when I stopped talking to her. Oh, can you tell Megan I said hi." It hurt to know that he didn't really care, but I decided to just not let it bother me. On Thursday is when I heard him start talking bad about my friend, which got me so angry because he told me himself that people who talk bad about other people are just low and mean. He was being a hypocrite. Then on Friday, I was starting tk finally do better and not worry about him anymore, we still weren't talking until he went out of his way to. He came and sat behind me and said, "I know you're trying to hide being hurt that I stopped talking to you. Everyone's been telling me." That hit me deep, but what I don't understand is why he would go out of his way to do that. Does he reallyjust like to hurt me? Or am I missing something? *Sorry its long.
Reply from
SIMPLY ME
on May 3 2014 at 22:05
Member since: 04 May 2014
Well,his actions seem pretty confusing.On one hand,he seems he wants to make you feel jealous.All that flirtin shows it perfectly,but,if you already showed him you like him,then,i'm sorry to say this,but he's playing around.If he truly cared about you,he wouldn't neglect you or raise small arguments or flirt with others in your face.All of these actions reveal that either he's doubting whether or not to continue with you(which explains why he flirts around and raises arguments-he wants to see your reactions),either he is just somebody who's sick enough just to see you getting emotionally hurt or broken down by him(a.k.a you're his personal trophy or ''sidechick'',who always will be there for him no matter what he does).There might be a very slight chance that he may have a love related interest deep down in himself towards you,but,judging from his actions,don't maintain your hopes on that.If he really had a true interest in you,he wouldn't do all this-he practically wants you begging for him at your knees.He is also clearly provoking pain in you in many ways.My advice?First of all,don't show that you miss him or that this situation is hurting you-you would only give him the pleasure to see you almost broken.Keep you head up,add some extra attention to yourself(clothes,make up,attitude),socialize more with your friends or other guys if you want to.Why not even telling others that you don't need him anymore?Just forget about him.Pretend he doesn't exist and move on from this situation.Next time you notice him near you,don't even listen or speak to him.Just smile to your friend and chat with him or her or keep yourself busy with something(music,book,magazine,etc).If he comes over to you and wants to speak up,just be honest with him.Tell him how you feel,BUT let him know that you won't bare this situation anymore.That if he wants to continue with what you both had,he needs to change his behaviour.Make him realise you're not a toy he can play around.Don't let him hurt you this way.Anyways,you decide what to do in the end.This was only my opinion,sorry if it's long :p.Best of luck!
Reply from
DOMINIC WILD (moderator)
on May 3 2014 at 22:51
Member since: 15 March 2013
Wow this guy clearly does have any care in the world for you emotions does he?

This to me seems like an act of revenge. A very extreme one at that, and for no good reason? I don't know the nature of what you were talking about with talking behind his back in some way, but he has obviously taken whatever you said in an extreme way. To do all this based on that one misinterpretation of the situation.

Coupled with these small arguments a desire for revenge has struck, at least it seems to me. Hence why he went against his morals too, to being a hypocrite to hurt you, cause you "did it to him" In his eyes.

I would not under any circumstances attempt to get with this person, if you were planning to anyway. If this person an just tick over and act like your sole enemy, trying to make your life a misery constantly, he is not worth your time. I'm not really as extreme as this, but these type of people can be incredibly dangerous. They can dedicate a large amount of their time to screwing you over and no one wants that. You need to try and zone this person out of your life. He sounds nothing but trouble. I'm not gonna deny the fact that he could change, but if he can do this I would not risk it, the risk of getting hurt and making his dedication even harder is just too high.

Don't talk about this guy to anyone, pretends he doesn't exist as the person above me previously said. That way no one can talk about how you get hurt by him, he won't hear anyone say anything of you. And even if he does just ignore him yet again.

Put focus in life to other good positive things like your friends. This person is out you make your life a misery! All because of a few arguments and misunderstandings.

Good luck with this situation and have a wonderful day =)

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