So I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years 2 of them we live together and this last year we have lived apart due to money issues . She has 3 kids with her husband (yes she is married I met her and she stole my heart and has told me for 3 years now that they would get a divorce) and we had a son together. This last year that we have lived apart I have been with my parents and she has been living with her husband.
She says that the only reason she is living there is to take care of the kids as she has no family here to stay with. My family has a big enough house and has offered her to come live with us but she does not want to because it is a hour away and the kids would have to change schools. So because I love her and the kids so much I have waited this year while we both save up money and she has been working again but now she want to take a trip down to Hawaii to see her family with our son and wants me to come with. Being big on family I support her with wanting to do this but by doing this out will set us back on having money saved to get a place together and I don't know what to do. She is going no mater what and told me she would continue living there to save money till November.
What do I do? Am I thinking about only myself If I can't do this anymore?
How much money does she currently have saved up? Does she have near enough to make the move to live together? In November will both have enough to make this move?
I think that if you love this person you can pull through. At the end of the struggle you'll have achieved your satisfying goal.
However I am going to note somethings that could be concerns. Like has she done anything like this before? Using mass amounts on money on something when saving up? And as a result is delaying this further? If she continues to do that, then there is a problem, since it hurts you when that happens. Although if it's just this circumstance, then it's relatively ok. Maybe this is a one-time opportunity or something or the time of opportunity happens very rarely. I think that would be the only concern really.
If you're confident she'll stick to her guns of saving up after this point to move in a place with you, then I'd say there is no problem. As long as it looks like your more heading towards this goal than heading away from it, eventually you'll get there. You just have to tough it out, which is easier said than done, but there is nothing more you can do but that.
Just focus on keeping the relationship healthy, have a positive attitude and look forward to eventually, hopefully, living with each other.
Hope that helped, hope you have a wonderful day.
What if I told her I love her very much but until we can afford to live together that we should take a break. That way I can focus on taking care of my son and myself leaving her to decide what she really wants.