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How Do I Escape My Past?

Posted by
ROSENROT
on May 10 2014 at 04:39
Member since: 10 May 2014
Relationship advice forum category advice forum category Basically my story is this i loved my ex to death I was willing do anything to keep us going I enjoyed every minuet with her I was lost in my mind forever in the moment and I was truely happy.

After 3 years she cheated on my constantly but a forgave her and to this day I don't know why. I guess a didn't want to hear it maybe un-sure to be honest but she finally left me and I don't know why my entire life fell apart within a day and a watched friends leave quoting as they left uve never been the same since she left.

I've completely changed how I look at life , people everythings different a just don't seem to care although it been 2 years already she's still on my mind there's not a day that goes by where a don't think of her and I've alienated my self and destroyed bonds with family due to my anger about the whole thing and I don't know what to do any advice would be great

How do I escape my past?
Reply from
DANUS
on May 10 2014 at 17:33
Member since: 10 May 2014
Hey bud,

I totally relate to your story, and it made me grow so much that I feel like sharing this with you.

I know that feeling, when you love a girl so much you're just forgiving everything because you want your relationship to work. The worst part though is that you forget about everything that makes you happy other than your relationship. The fact that you mentioned that you know you changed completely after she left you is already a very good start. Because sometimes, people spend their whole life hanging to a relationship that is never gonna work. They don't want to admit that the person they're with isn't the right one. So you should at least be proud of yourself because you understand the problem and you took that important step back to see what's really going on.

However, though doing this is very good and important, it is not gonna change your feelings and the way you look at life. From what I've experienced, I understood that talking to people (could be close friends, family or strangers) and keep having those relationships that make you feel good is the key. There is no way you'll feel better if you keep thinking about this on your own and leave that comfort you had before. You should however think about it in a good way. What you are doing now is probably bad, because you're thinking about how good you felt when you were with her, and how great your relationship could have been etc.. But these aren't the good things to think about. Ask yourself the right questions. I really loved this girl for a year and when everything was over, I asked myself those basic questions: what did she bring that was so special and how did i live without it before I met her? When she isn't around, who is there for me and how can I benefit from them? Those questions are gonna help a lot because if you think about it, nobody around you has changed since you broke up. You're the only one here staying on your own and avoiding any other relations. But trust me, spend time with the people you like, realize that you should hang to them and understand how beneficial they are to you. You wont feel any better if you don't do so. It'll help to solve your current problem and also for everything else in life. What i suggest though, is to keep those reflexions you have about your situation. Thinking about it is great when you think about it efficiently. Think about everything that's great around you, meet people, get involved in stuff you like and understand that there are plenty of other girls you could share your life with.

From what I've read, you seem to be someone that cares a lot about the relationship he's in. And I also think that this girl isn't the type of girl you should be with. It didn't work, so let it go. It's hard to admit it, but she'll find someone else that corresponds to her, and you'll find some other girl that can give you much more than what she gave you. It's a funny way of thinking, but understand that this one girl you'll marry is somewhere, coming slowly. After having relations with other girls (not necessarily being in a couple), I realized that I had nothing to do with that previous girl. I realized that I could meet girls I can exchange a lot with, spend time and feel good, confident. Confidence is my last point. You probably lost all confidence in life and human relations. But think about who you were before, think about everything you gained since you broke up, and build confidence on that. Know that you are a great person that will meet someone great as well.

Do everything you can to be happy, because that's the only way you'll forget about all this. Love your family and friends and hang to the people who love you, no one else.

How do I escape my past?
Reply from
K
on May 10 2014 at 23:53
Member since: 09 April 2014
Wow. I could not have said it any better DANUS - you are spot on. Great advice.

Just wanted to add a few of my own thoughts ROSENROT - If you continue with the same frame of mind, before you know it, another 2 years will have passed. Who will be the one to have missed out on what could have been another potential relationship? Only you.

Time waits for no one my friend. Pick yourself up, look forward to the wonderful memories you could be creating and stop looking back. Your journey of moving on from this pain only starts with a single step. Seize the oppurtunity now, before its too late.

Discussion closed - why not create your own thread?