PeoplesProblems Logo

Hurt and jealousy

Default profile image
Relationship advice I have two problems
The first is that my husband who i have been with for 22 years married 18 once said unfortunately he had a photo of me in his wallet when I asked him if he had one of me
I felt hurt and he said it came out the wrong way and he didnt mean it like that
Now I never want to take photos of us as I think why should I after what he said and he as never really said to have photos of us it as always been me saying to take them of us or putting them im frames. I feel im not nice looking enough with him saying that.
My second problem is he is a sales man and as stayed away over the years and I get jealous because he gets to stay away by himself and get away from the house and kids. I have stayed in hotels by myself but its no fun alone and I sit in the room just watching tv. He often goes with his work colleagues for a meal or will have it by himself which he doesn't mind. I have gone with him in the past but its no fun just sitting in the car all day whilst he does his appointments
I dont have any friends to go away the night with.
We have stayed away the last time was 5 weeks ago but I just get so jealous when he goes away for a couple of days
He as been abroad in the past as well and im always back at home like a silly fool and I dont know how many times I have watched him go and I hardly if ever stay away from him so he doesn't know what its like being in the house for days on end like I do when he goes away
I wished I never met a sales man but 22 years later im still here

Hurt and jealousy

Default profile image
Hello Sunshinelove,

Well 22 years is a long time. I like to see that kind of relationship. These days people marry and they don't even put a nice thought into it.
Sometimes even myself say things I don't mean and I regreat it very much.
The fact is that he has a photo of you there! And if he has that photo there is because he likes to have it, or he should had toss it out already. Don't you think?
When we like someone very much we get hurt very very easly and when time goes by we start yelling for everything and anything hurts deep for no reason.
That's normal and healthy in some point.
Try to be calm and patient. Think on the good things and adress the problems properly. You shouldn't get hurt by a thing like this.
Well that's his life, and he works to keep your family well feed and for you to have anything you need. That's the problem with the womens that stay in home taking care of their children. I see he has his life but you don't have yours. Why you don't join a gym? Or clubs? Meet new people? It's never to late. Start to do something new with another people. You shouldn't be isolated like that, you need a social life to live.
I think that you should make him a surprise and in the end talk to him about things. Say what you feel, and that you feel silly for feeling that jeously but you love him very much. :)
Go on think about this and your life and do something with it.
It's never to late to start something new.

Hurt and jealousy

Default profile image
Sundshine -

You sound like you are living for your man. too bad, since now you realize your own life is passing by . . . . time to reinvent YOURSELF.

Surprise yourself AND your husband by getting an new look. Get your hair and makeup done. Change the color and cut. Buy something new to wear. Do something nice for yourself.

Take some classes. Start reading or learn a new craft, gardening, sewing. Become a volunteer somewhere.

Get a physical and see if you are depressed. Promise yourself to find a female friend.

Hurt and jealousy

Default profile image
Hey sunshineinlove,

I think its great that you and your husband have been together for so long. What your feeling is so relatable and many women go through this most likely because it has always about the husband and kids for them.

What I feel you need is some time to yourself. You need to really consider what you want at this time in your life and instead of focusing on the jealousy you feel when your husband is out, you should take that time to do what you want and how you want.

Another thing, guys don't really put too much on sentimental pictures, maybe he doesn't care about taking pictures because he doesn't like being in them. I think there seems to be a lot of miscommunication between you and your husband. You have every right to let him know how you feel when he goes away but more importantly you need to find something that makes you happy that is neither related to the kids or your husband. Art classes are fun, maybe you should sign up for one. Or maybe you want to reinvent yourself and improve how you feel about who you are as a person. Humans are never perfect and we are constantly learning and growing from our experiences.

You are focusing on the negative, why not remember what you like about yourself or what you truly appreciate about yourself. You need to find what fulfills you as a person and focus on that. When we are consumed by what we enjoy, we are in flow.

This thread has expired - why not start your own?