Relationship (after having new job)
After my girlfriend have changed to her new job, her attitude towards this relationship have become very different. For example, her text messages , her attitudes towards me, the urge to spend time with me and staying over etc have changed from the past. I tried to be as sweet as possible, telling her how much i needed her and love her, her replies and actions seems to be different from the past too. I was wondering when one changes her job or focuses strongly to her job, can it really hurt the relationship? I often put myself in such situation and I don't think it can affect its relationship because its two different things and no matter what , the love is embedded deep inside our hearts. I just don't understand these changes. We have talked things out and she said she wants this relationship and she wants to be with me but her actions just doesn't seems to fit her words. Am i being too sensitive or paranoid? My friends told me to give her space and trust her. I'm really confused about this matter, can work really caused one to change so much towards her relationship? I am scared that giving 'space' could harm the relationship. I can't lose her, I love her so much. I often think about logical stuffs and the reason why all these are happening and i cant seems to get any answers. Everyday is a challenge to me and I just hope to see her every single day but like what I said, things have changed. We don't really meet so often and the tension between us seems to be loosen up by so much. Please advice me . What should i do? What should i say?
You're right the change from jobless to having a job can seem like an irrelevant change. But depending on the job and looking into the grand scheme of things it's a life change.
It's REALLY hard to tell what the exact change in your girlfriends behavior it? You give examples of things that have changed, but now HOW they have changed.
However there are ways in which a job effects the relationship. For instance a job creates stress on someone, this stress effects their attitudes, actions and motivation. Among it can also effect them in different ways too, like their focus in life, focusing a lot of the job can create even more stress. Stress can make a person easily irritated, wanting to spend time alone or in solidarity to relax. Those could be some of the effects in play here, or none of them might be. There may be utterly different effects.
She's stated she still wants this relationship to go on. Therefore you should not worry too much. Clearly whatever effect this is having is not damaging your relationship if she still wants to be in it. I have to wonder if these "changes" you are seeing are really even changes? Often when we have preconceptions or are looking for things we end up finding some sort of evidence for them. That Evidence may be invalid or not very relevant, the changes that you see may not even really be changes, you just see them as such because you're looking for them. The reason I say this is because you have not mentioned in anyway HOW she is changed. Which could indicate to me that you've done just this. However, I could be wrong.
Giving her space is a not a bad option. Obviously don't ignore her or reject her to give her space. But if you're paranoid and contacting her more than usual I'd cut down on that.
Issues separate from this, everyday should not be challenge for you with this change. A concern potentially, but if your life has turned into a challenge everyday this is a big problem. You shouldn't co-depend on this individual so much, so much so her slightest changes has the most major of impacts on your life. You need to be more independent, such as not having the urge to see her everyday. Maybe her attitude has changed because you've been so clingy? Regardless from what you've said you definitely need to be more independent and have commitments outside of the relationship. Eg, friends, family, hobbies etc.