I've been having a problem with my boyfriend as of late. He and I have been dating for almost 3 1/2 years. Our relationship has been great, but lately he's been kind of distant. He doesn't talk to me as much and sometimes even goes a few days without doing so. Since he and I hardly get to see each other in person, we usually talk online/text as much as we can. Along with this, I think I'm starting to lose interest in him. He's really the only person I have dated, so I just don't know what to do! Can someone please help?
Has there been any change to make him distant? A new job? High demand on work for something like college? Did you do perhaps do something to make him act this way?
This could just be deterioration of feelings. If you don't do much in the relationship or have much variety in your life, both your lives for that matter. It can become boring, same old, same old.
If the only thing you ever do is try and talk to him, that may be getting boring over time if you don't have a variety of topics to discuss on a regular basis. He may just be bored with the discussions or something.
I think I can conclude to quite a reasonable degree of accuracy that it's either some sort of stress from a job or education or a lack of variety in the relationship, I'd be more inclined to think lack of variety is definitely playing a role.
What can you do? Well you could try to organize something to meet up and hang out, think of things the both of you take interest in to talk about, increase variety in your life with hobbies, other friends and family instead of talking to him 24/7, if you talk to him a lot anyway. Obviously still talk to him, but occupy your time with other things too.
Those are really the only things I can think of, however one important thing you should do is communicate the fact you feel he's being really distant. There may be a logical reason behind it, like the context of a job or workload. That way you know if he's losing interest too or if it's something else and you can deal with it effectively. Maybe you can discuss openly with him ways to improve the variety in the relationship or even just interest in each other.
If you wanna salvage it anyway.
If you both lack interest, then moping around in the relationship won't hurt, but it won't accomplish anything either. So it that case it'd be better to break up, remain friends and see if something happens later down the line to maybe revitalize the relationship.
I wish you the best of luck in your relationship, and have a wonderful day
after being with someone for 3.5 years you should of established some kind of bond together that distance can't break that but it seems as though maybe you have outgrown each other. Texting and talking online doesnt define much. You need to sit down and have a talk with him about where things are going and whether you two are even on the same page. At least then you'll know what to do next
I am not sure if communication is the problem to talk things through.you have been dating each other a long time and maybe there isn't a future together. maybe there is a future together but to date for a 3 1/2 years is there marriage children etc the goal of dating.