Facebook Banner 001

Myearlier Boyfirend Now Husband Doest Take Me Seriously

Posted by
FULL LIFE
on May 21 2014 at 08:34
Member since: 21 May 2014
Relationship advice HI ALL,

THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IV STARTED USING SUCH WEBSITE THAT OFFERS RELATIONSHIP HELP,EXPECTING SOMETHING POSITIVE.

WHY AM I SEEKING HELP FOR MY PROBLEMS ONLINE..WELL I THINK I HAVE NO ONE TO TURN TO WITH THESE ISSUES...I DONT WANT TO TROUBLE MY FAMILY MEMBERS...ALSO COS THIS WAS A LOVE MARRIAGE AND MY PARENTS WERE DEAD AGAINST IT FROM THE BEGINING ITSELF N NOW I FEEL SO DEPRESSED WHY DIDNT I LISTEN TO THIEIR ADVICE..SO NOW IF I DISCUSS IT WID DEM DELL B MORE UNHAPPY.

MY PROBLEM..I MARRIED MY BOYFRIEND OF 3 YEARS WHO MY CHILDHOOD CLASSMATE AND WE MET AGAIN THRO FACEBOOK..WE DATED FOR 2 YEARS & HE PROPOSED TO ME FOR MARRIGE..I LIKED HIM AS A PERSON AS HE SHOWED A VERY RESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR TOWARDS HIS FAMILY & WORK. BUT AS FAR AS I WAS CONCERNED HE NEVER TOOK MY IDEAS OR DESIRES SERIOUSLY I BELIEVE..

JUST FORGOT TO MENTION..I AM A DOCTOR & HE RUNS FAMILY BUSINESS..IT WAS LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP & WE MET ONCE IN A WHILE. HE DIDNT SEEM SO MUCH INTERESTED IN THE BGINING BUT GRADUALLY HE BECAME SERIOUS..BUT THERE WERE FEW THING WHICH ALWAYS BOTHERED ME..HE TOLD ME HE HAD MANY GIRL FRNS IN PAST BUT NOT NOW ..ALSO AS GIRL I HAD SOME EXPECTATIONS FROM HIM DAT HE WOULD COME TO MEET ME TO MY CITY OFTEN BUT HE NVR CAME..WE NEVER MET AS ANY GF BF WOULD MEET,HE NEVER DID ANYTHING SPECIAL THINGS FOR ME(AS GIVING GIFTS ,WATCHING MOVIES..REALLY BELIEVE ME..WE NVR HAD ANY VALENTINE CELBRATION,NOW I THINK WAT MADE ME DECIDE TO MARRY HIM).. BUT THERE WAS SOME CONNECTION WHICH KEPT US 2 GTHR FOR 3 YEARS INSPITE OF ALONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.MANY A TIMES WE DECIDED TO BRAKEUP AS WELL BUT DEN AFTR FEW DAYS WE USED TO GET BACK.

I HAD BEEN AVERY SINCERE GIRL SINCE SCHOOL & HE WASNT SURPRISED TO KNOW I HAD BCM A DOCTOR WEN WE MET AGAIN AFTER 11YEARS. HE ALWAYS SAID I HAD LIKED U IN SCHOOL TOO U ARE VERY NYC GIRL WHOM ANYONE WUD WANT TO MARRY..INTIALLY I DIDNT BELIEVE HIM FOR HE WUD SOMEDAY PROPOSE FOR MARRIAGE..BUT DEN HE SAID HE WAS SERIOUS AND WANTED TO GET MARRIED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

I HAD DOBTS ABOUT HIM & HIS FAMILY & MYSELF TOO..I WANTED HIM TO DO HIS PG & BECOME INDEPENDENT START TAKING HIS OWN DECESIONS.HE PROMISED ME HE WOULD DO WATEVER IT MAY TAKE TO MAKE ME COMFORTABLE IN HIS JOINT FAMILY & WAS READY TO SHIFT OUT IF ANY PROBLEM CAME IN TERMS OF MY ADJUSTMENTS IN HIS FAMILY (ME BEING BROUGHT UP IN NUCLEAR FAMILY IN HP & HES FROM PUNJAB)

HE ALSO PROMISED TO DO HIS PG AFTER MARRIGE & HELP ME SET MY CLINIC IN HIS CITY EVEN IF I DIDNT GET A JOB AFTER MARRIGE AS I WORKED IN DELHI HOSPITAL. I TRUSTED HIM FOR WAT ALL HE SAID BUT STILL HAD SOME DOUBT IN MY MIND. I ALWAYS THOT HE WUD NVR TAKE THE LEAD FOR ANYTHING IN LIFE BEING FROM BUSINESS FAMILY AS HE GREW UP IN HIS CITY NVR SAW OUTSIDE LIFE OR STAYED IN HOSTEL AS I DID.

IT TOOK 2 LONG YEARS TO CONVINCE MY FAMILY FOR THIS MARRIGE COS THERE WERE ISSUES LIKE CASTE DIFFERENCE,CULTURE,STATUS ,EDUCATION(ME A DOC N HE JUST A ARTS GRADUATE)...MY PARENTS ALWAYS TOLD ME I WONT BE ABLE TO SETTLE IN A BUSINESS FAMILY AS THEIR LIFESTYLE IS DIFFRENT AND FEMALES AND NEVER GIVEN SO MUCH OF INPENDENCE IN BUSINEES FAMILIES..BUT ATLAST THEY GAVE IN AS THEY WANTED ME TO MARRY SOON ( I WAS 28 YRS ALREADY).

WE GOT MARRIED LAST YEAR & NOW ITS BEEN 10 MONTHS ..& THINGS NOW ARE AS I FEARED HE NEVER STANDS UP TO HIS FAMILY TO SAY SOMETHING FOR AS SMALL AS GOING TO MY PARENTS HOUSE,HE ALWAYS WANTS ME TO SPEAK EVERTHING IN FRONT OF HIS FAMILY..HE DIDNT APPLY FOR PG,NEITHER HAS ANY PLAN TO HELP OPEN MY CLINIC INSPITE OF ME ASKING HIM REGULARLY.(LUCKILY I GOT JOB IN THIS CITY & M NOT SITTING IDLE.)

HE NEVER GIVES ME ANY MONTHLY EXPENDITURE(MAY BE HE THINKS I EARN,BUT DAT SHUDNT BE HIS IDEA I BELIEVE IF HES MARRIED NOW AND SHUD BE MORE RESPONSIBLE TOWARDS SAVING).

I WANT HIM TO BE INDEPENDENT & COME OUT OF HIS SHELL START SPEAKING UP & TAKE LEADS..I DONT WANT TO BE DAT WIFE WHU PLAYS A ROLE OF A MALE ,I WANT TO BE CARED LOVED,PAMPERED & SPOILED.I HAVE NO ISSUES WID HIS FAMILY THEY ALL LOVE ME..BUT HIS BEHAVIOUR IS STILL THE SAME AS BEFORE MARRIAGE..MAY BE HES JUST NOT READY TO LEAVE HIS BACHERLORHOOD LIFE..

I GET TOO DEPRESSED WITH HIS BEHAVIOUR I REPENT MY DECESION,WHY DID I NOT LISTEN TO MY PARENTS & MARRY SOME PROFFESSIONAL WID SIMILAR IDEAS ABT LIFE. I WANT TO HIM COME OUT OF HIS SHELL & TAKE RESPONSIBLITY & BE MORE SENSITIVE TOWARDS DIS RELATION FOR WHICH I LEFT EVRTHING.WE OFTEN ARGUE & END UP ACCUSING EACH OTHER & NOT TALKING.

I FELL SO TRAPPED IN DIS RELATION BEING IN JOINT FAMILY CANT EVEN REACT D WAY I WANT..I HAVE TO HOLD BACK MY EMOTIONS,N DATS DEPRESSES ME AL THE MORE...

WT SHUD I DO TO MAKE HIM UNDERSTAND DAT I NEED TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY??

HOW WILL HE START TAKING INITIATIVES ?? HOW WILL HE START THINKING DAT HES THE MALE IN THIS RELATION & HE NEEDS TO LEAD??

PL PL GUDE ME WAT TO DO..

MYEARLIER BOYFIREND NOW HUSBAND DOEST TAKE ME SERIOUSLY
Reply from
SUSIEDQQ
on May 21 2014 at 12:47
Member since: 27 December 2013
You are not going to change this man. His behavior is in his personality. He showed what he was before you married him, but you ignored these attributes.

You are a smart woman - hire someone to open a clinic if you want that.

Pamper yourself if you want that.

Decide if you want to stay in this marriage for the long run. You don't list ANY of his good attributes, so I think you have fallen out of love with him.

Discussion closed - why not create your own thread?