Take her away for a romantic weekend. If there is no fire, then you need to assess whether or not you want a future with her.
Once a month for a young couple seems like not enough, but you don't talk much about her and what she's going through.
Stress and lack of sleep are real sex killers for women. What about her?
You shouldn't be scared you're going to cheat on her, cause you don't want to make her said right? You love her? You want her to be happy? Can you not control your sexual urges? Maybe you could release them some other way if you had them like watching porn, obviously only if your gf approves and even then communicating that may cause problems. However if your urges are that dire that may need to be your last resort.
I think that your sex life isn't always going to high sparking in activity. Since people can change in terms of wanting it and getting aroused by it. So it kinda makes sense their is a decline, some people even get just plain bored of it, if you do it too much.
I assume you've communicated this to your girlfriend? That you want to increase both of your sex lives, that'd be a good thing to do if you haven't already.
Also you never mentioned why your sex life has slowed down? You just said that it has? You've moved in together right? So don't you two have enough time to get it on when you want? Or do you not have enough time? Or does she not want to?
You say if you can remove sex from the equation everything will be perfect. So why can't you? People survive without sex on a regular basis, I don't see the difficulty in just being satisfied when you do have sex and the emotional support from her. Unless you've built up an addiction to craving sex and needing it to function a relationship.
The only scenario where I see this not being applicable is if your relationship is purely focused on physicality from both ends, i.e you only want each other for physical pleasure, kissing, hugging, cuddling, sex. With little emotional support, then it's a problem because the purpose is kind of lost in that regard.
So it's kinda hard for me to give any real directed advice other than, tell your girlfriend if you haven't already. And if you can't find any solution and NEED some sort of sexual gratification and want this relationship to still work out try porn for the gratification? Telling your gf first for obvious reasons.
Is it a possibility that both of you are just preoccupied at the minute and that this is being blown out of proportion.
Keep positive and do something different and fun together it helps spice things up and keeps things interesting.
Talk with her it is the simply things..... after so long together you can drift and communication can dissolve.
I am sure she notices too...
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