How do I tell my boyfriend about something in the past?
Before my current boyfriend, I had been single and a student for some time, and had a few various flings.
I have to start by saying my boyfriend is the best thing that ever happened to me, and I love him entirely.
Before we were together, and before there were any signs we would ever be together, I slept with a friend from university, and it meant nothing to me, and I regretted it, I decided to tell no one and keep it a secret.
However my boyfriend lives with some of his friends, and the pair know eachother.
I know that my boyfriend isn't friendly with the friend that I slept with (W) and so I decided not to tell him, it wa sin my past and had no business being brought into my current life.
I know I should have told him but it wasn't a big deal to me and I wanted it to be instantly forgotten about at the time.
I am planning to move in with my boyfriend for summer, and his friends, just as I was beginning to get excited at the prospect of living with my lovely boyfriend, he tells me that (W) has asked if he can rent the spare room.
I know I cannot live with my boyfriend with (W) next door and without him knowing. I am just disappointed that my friend is aware of the situation and would come this close to interrupting our relationship.
I have to go behind my friends back and tell my boyfriend what happened and that I am going to feel too uncomfortable to live with (W) I am scared to tell him.
I will upset them both, but I have no choice, do I?
Why do you think W would talk about this? If this comes out, he will not have a room to rent!
He may feel the same as you do: keep this in the past.
If you get a chance to talk to W, make it clear that the past is not to be talked about, let it be forgotten.
Then stay away from him.
Hi what an awkward situation. This is your business and it is in your past......
No need to mention it.... you are not betraying anyone by not saying anything.
Leave it in the past..... this person may feel uncomfortable too and may move out or not move in at all.
Stay cool and calm, its the past he is no threat to your relationship and your plans.
Hi, thank you for responding
I am so grateful for your advice, my friends have told me similar things, that I could keep this a secret forever, I just fear that I will feel so guilty that I won't be able to be normal with my boyfriend until he knows, its as though my past is coming to bite me on the arse..
I think I have to tell him, if your partner told you something like this how would it make you feel? I wish I had been open all alon
If you tell your partner he may feel uncomfortable with him moving in and he may not offer him the room.
If that is the consequence you want then it is a chance you take.
If both move in together and it gets out to your boyfriend he may be annoyed that you did not tell him and it may cause trust issues.
Does this other guy know that you are moving in?
I think you want to tell your boyfriend.... so do tell him you would feel awkward if he moved in that may solve the problem.
It is your past so your fella will understand and may be grateful that he knows before hand rather than after.
Thank you Mountain, wise words..
my friend is fully aware of me moving in, which has made me feel more awkwardness towards him, he is not being sensitive about this..
Thank you, I think I have to tell him, I just really hope you're right and he understands
Thank you again
If this guy is aware of you moving in then tp protect yourself and your relationship be honest to your fella.
I heard he is moving in? I am not comfortable because we had a mistake in the past and you want to leave it there.
you would never have told him only he is getting closer to you.
It will come out if you cannot handle things. I don't like this move from him at all.
Better to be upfront....
Your fella will ask you though why did you tell him.....if it was nothing and in the past.
Just say it feels like it is in my present if we under the same roof.....