PTSD - life & work
So I have PTSD (Post Tramatic Stress Disorder) and that's just the surface of my mental issues but focusing on that alone, it affects my job performance. As well as my social life. Have zero friends cause I simply refuse to trust anyone outside of my family and even they have difficulty with me. Already was reclusive now its just worse. Don't have any external relationships except for one long distance email/text-pal. Anyway, my biggest concern right now is my job. I have never held a job for more than half a year since I have been home. This is due to my PTSD because it effects my job performance. Ill have a panic attack here and there, waking nightmare, zone out unable to get my mind off of things, come in late to work because I couldn't sleep like now. Its impressive I'm able to drive cause often I find myself falling asleep at the wheel. I like to be able to tell the truth so when i suspect I'm about to be fired I simply give my two weeks notice sometimes even less. That way I can in good consciousness say I have never been fired and so far that's true. So about a year ago I was able to be involuntarily placed in a hospital for a suicide attempt. After fixing my physical issues and short month stay, they placed me on meds which allowed me (once i got out) to complete a trade school. Having graduated in April I was able to land myself a job in the field of study. However once again my issue is causing an issue. Actions I have taken: Seen a counselor, got a meeting monday. Taking meds, though I do forget occasionally which is supposedly dangerous since they can supposedly cause seizures if not taken consistently.
So the entire purpose for me blabbering on about myself on here I suppose would be to ask for any other ideas. I'm kinda reaching for anything right now so no voice is too small. Thanks
Sounds like you have been through some tough times. The recurrent cycle of getting a job, then giving it up, get another one, could be a symptom of a fear of commitment, which fits in with your lack of relationships. Clearly you have much more to reveal (to your counselor) and I hope that you can get to the bottom of what caused the PTSD to come up in the first place.