I have been in a relationship for the past 6months, my boyfriend is on the process of getting a divorce. He was maried for 12yrs, has 3 children with this person. Although they have been separated for a year, and she has moved on with someone else, that has affected their children, and my boyfriend feels that if he brongs them around me, it would cause even more of a trauma to them. When my boyfriend was married and living with his ex, I dont think they were happy with each other, but my boyfriend stuck around for the children. I know that a 12 year marriage is not forgotten over night, but how do I handle those days where my boyfriend is depressed for putting his children through this burden? How can I tell him that Iam here to help him tell his children that Iam his girlfriend and that I want to be a part of their life?
Well, I NEVER brought boyfriends or dates around my children after my divorce. That was too much for them to handle.
You don't say how long he has been "processing" this divorce, but honor his request for right now. He needs to stablize his relationship with his children before bringing another woman into the picture.
Eventually, the kids will need to learn that Dad is "dating", but no need to bring you into the picture. Try to be patient.
The divorce is in its third month. I completely understand where he is coming from, and I will wait for him to be ready to tell his kids that he has moved on, but at the moment what can I do to help him,emotionally. I have meet his kids but I was introduced as a high school friend, and the times that we did hang out with his kids, I always had my sister with me. I know his kids aren't dumb, they can kind of understand who I was...but in front of his kids we never kids we never held hands or kissed. I tried to mingle with the kids, and they were nice and responded me when I asked.