I am confused and cheating
I am not sure if it fits here, but nevertheless I hope it might help me in some way.
I have a boy friend and we have been together for more than 3 years. He loves me a lot and so do I. We both know we are going to marry each other. All went well until the day I had to leave my town and move to another for my university. I have been here for an year now and we are in touch just like old times. I go home once or twice a month and meet him and everything is normal. He is a good guy and I am sure he will be a great husband.
Now the part where everything went wrong. I met this another guy here and as you may have guessed, he is quite charming. And he fell in love with me. I didn't want to complicate things and told him about my boy friend and our plans. We agreed to stay friends. But soon things went off control and I ended up on bed with him. I know its entirely wrong but I am totally unable to control my physical urges. I know I am not going to leave my boy friend for him and he knows I won't be his girl friend too. But I am cheating on my boy friend here. It's all in a mess. But outside everything is fine. I am with him and honestly he keeps me happy. I like it with him. My boy friend has no idea about all this. We still talk like we used to, I meet him when I go home. But inside I know its all wrong. And of course I really don't intend to cheat on him after we get married.
But what do I do now? I am confused. I have not lied to anyone, but I have cheated on my boy friend. But ....I don't know. I want to tell all this to someone. I don't know whom to.
Nineme, take your thoughts further because the relationship you have with your BF lacks something, it's not all ok.
You're wrong when you say "after you get married" because you need to really think about going down that track with your BF. If he was the right man, in every sense (mind, body and soul) for you, you wouldn't be in bed with someone else...it's that simple.
If you want to tell someone about this, then talk to your BF because you owe it to him as well as to yourself.
Thanks for your reply.
But, as you said my relationship with my bf seems to be perfect. He loves me a lot and I do too. The only problem which came is that I had to stay away from him for Uni. I didn't want the current relation to go this way, but there were some situations which brought me to this stage. I am quite sexual and now I like my time with him. But as I said I know its not right. But it is not affecting the relation with my bf in any way. It's just something in my mind. Also I know I wouldn't be with this guy once I am out of Uni. Its all temporary. Externally it looks all OK, but from inside I feel wrong. I know he is the person I am going to marry.
Its the confusion which is killing me!!
And no, I cannot talk to my bf about this. I don't want that relation to break.